


You are the fire that always burns - you are the light

by notreallystraight



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F, M/M, Multi, lena as a doctor is my new thing, super gay and super fun
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-04
Updated: 2017-02-08
Packaged: 2018-09-14 18:34:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 24
Words: 40,325
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9198062
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notreallystraight/pseuds/notreallystraight
Summary: Kara's still being Supergirl, just like she has been for the past year. Now she somehow meets this super cute doctor and has to try and balance everything in her life.ORKara's a cutie and Lena's a hot doctor





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> please don't hate me for this not being clexa but i've fallen in love with supercorp. 
> 
> okay so good luck with this mess of a story.
> 
> also kara can't heal herself and she's not bulletproof. all of that will be explained throughout the story wuhu

Kara’s been doing this for years now, saving the city one bad guy at a time. But as she picks up the call from Hank and he tells her the entire office is on lock down for the next month and there’ll be no way for her to get any help, she can’t help but feel the slight tingle of her nerves.

 

“Be careful, “ He says. His voice is low, almost a whisper, and Kara knows he’s not being Hank the boss-guy, he’s being Hank the man who cares for her.

 

“I always am, “ She says back and hangs up with a sigh. She opens the window from her living room; it’s just big enough for her to get out through when she has to hurry. Kara closes her eyes for a second, going through the details Hank told her.

 

_Two men dressed in black, wearing masks. They’re armed, the police are there. They robbed a bank, civilians are in there, about fifteen of them._

And so she jumps, falling for a second before feeling the boost she gets from flying, her red cape ruffling in the wind. As she flies above the city she focuses on the sounds around her until she reaches the loud noise of the police radios. She dives. Quickly.

 

“Supergirl! “ Someone calls and suddenly the confidence runs through her as she stands outside the bank.

 

“Is there a back entrance? “ She asks, hands on her hips. It’s something she’s picked up from her sister without thinking about it.

 

“Yes. But one of them is standing there, armed. “ An officer tells her. She nods and thinks for a second, trying to make a plan. Alex keeps telling her to always think before doing, but it takes too much time and Kara’s impatient.

 

She jumps up, landing on the roof of the building and walks to the back of it with fast steps. As she looks down she sees the guy standing outside a small, white metal door. He’s got a gun and a mask on, Kara can’t see his face.

 

So she blinks a few times until she feels her vision going slightly red-ish and then she sends the burning hot beams of light down to the ground beneath her. The man jumps back in surprise and starts shooting all around him. Kara leans back quickly, avoiding a bullet.

 

See, she used to be bulletproof. She used not give a crap about a plan or how she’d do things, because usually the bad guys would just shoot at her and get surprised when the bullets just flew off her. All of that was right until one of the _really_ bad, bad guys hit her with something strange that took away some of her powers. Now she has to think and be careful and so far, it’s not going very well.

 

She shakes her head quickly and jumps down, landing on the guy’s shoulders, pulling him down with her. She tightens her thighs around his head until he releases the gun in pain. She picks it up and throws it hard into the building, watching how it flies back in a million pieces.

 

The man lets out a loud scream and Kara jumps up, keeping her foot on his chest just hard enough for him to struggle breathing. “Oh, shut up! “ She says and grabs him by the collar. She flies him quickly to where the police are standing behind their cars, guns out and waiting. After being thanked a few times she flies back to the metal door and opens it slowly. She has no idea what to expect other than a guy, too many civilians and… Whatever’s in a bank.

 

So she walks in slowly, using her super-vision to look through the walls and suddenly she senses something moving. She can see the civilians all lying on the ground with their hands on the back of their head, they’re shaking and some are crying.

 

She walks forward, keeping her low to the ground as she turns a corner to find a door. It’s a way to get behind the counters inside. She looks through it and sees the other bad guy. He’s holding a gun in one hand and a phone in the other, something’s stressing him out, something’s not going as planned and Kara guesses it’s the other guy he’s trying to reach.

 

So as he presses the buttons she opens the door and flies forward, hitting him hard in the chest. “GO! “ She screams and the civilians all runs up and out through the big, blue doors in the front of the building. Kara hits the guy hard on his throat and he looses balance for a second. She grabs the gun out of his hand and breaks it with the heel of her shoe. Suddenly there’s a stinging pain on her upper arm and she sees the cut he’s made with a tiny pocketknife.

 

“Really? “ She whispers and grabs him by the wrist. She presses hard until he curls to his knees and yells for the other guy. “Already took care of him, buddy. “ She grins shortly and forces his hand behind his back, same with the other one. She pushes his hands upwards until she hears a faint click and knows he’s not going to fight back anymore. And so she leads him out of the building, waiting for the officers to grab him as they did with the other guy.

 

“Thank you! “ An elderly man says. Kara guesses he was one of the hostages.

 

“You’re very welcome. “ She smiles back widely and jumps up and flies away. The stinging feeling in her arm is painful and when she finally gets to her window in her apartment she falls through it and lands on the floor with a moan.

 

“Oh, for the love of… “ She mutters and gets up to the sink. She finds a cloth and runs it below the water for a second before pressing it on her arm. She curses into her shoulder as she feels the blood runs down her arm.

 

“Alex… Why are you not here? “ She whispers. Normally Alex is the one to stich her up when these things happen, but she’s out of town for the week. So she gets to her closet and puts on a t-shirt and a pair of jeans. She finds it very hard to do all of these things whilst still holding the cloth onto her cut. But she picks her phone up form her couch and runs outside to the street. Luckily she only lives a street or two from the hospital, so with a fast run she gets there within minutes.

 

Inside it’s crowded. It’s right after new years and everyone is getting messed up because the fireworks. “Hello? Sorry, it’s just that I… Uh, I hurt my arm and- “

 

“This way, “ A stern voice says and leads her down a long hallway. Doctors and nurses are running from one side to the other, holding files and papers or blood bags and fluids Kara doesn’t want to think about right now. “Here, a doctor will be with you shortly, “ The nurse says, sounding a little more concerned now that she’s taken a better look at Kara.

 

So Kara sits down on the massive ‘bed’ and waits. She takes the cloth away to look at the wound for a second before someone clears their throat. “You should not touch that, “ She says. Kara’s doctor. Or, well, the doctor standing in front of Kara. She’s never seen her before, she’d remember. Her eyes are wide and light, a strong contrast to her thick eyebrows and dark hair. “So what happened? “ The woman asks, putting on a pair of plastic gloves. She’s fiddling with some things on a tiny metal table next to the bed Kara’s sitting on.

 

“Uh, what? Oh- the arm, _my_ arm. It’s not… It’s my arm, okay! So, uh… “ Kara mumbles as she pushes her glasses up higher on her nose with a soft giggle to bring herself back. “I was cooking food and suddenly the knife slipped and I tried to catch it and, well, ouch. “ She smiles shortly, knowing every bit of that story doesn’t make sense.

 

“It… _Slipped_? “ The woman asks, raising her eyebrows as she takes some clean, white cotton from a pile in a jar next to her. She takes the cloth from Kara’s hand slowly and looks at the wound. “Yeah, you’re going to get stiches. About seven or eight, I think. “ She mutters as she tries to wipe the wound clean from blood, but it keeps streaming down Kara’s arm.

 

“ _Stitches_? “ Kara repeats, eyes wide and mouth open. “Cool, “ She whispers under her breath and wishes the doctor hadn’t heard her. But as the doctor looks back up to meet Kara’s eyes, she’s sure she heard her because there’s an odd expression on her face.

 

“Okay, so I will just make sure you’re not going to feel a thing. Otherwise this will be very uncomfortable for both of us, “ She says and smiles, grabbing a syringe from her table and then holding on to Kara’s arm gently. “This will sting for a little while. Your arm will feel thick and heavy, but don’t worry. “ She pricks Kara multiple times before she gets to touch the wound without Kara flinching.

 

Even though Kara’s been able to feel pain for a few months now, she’s still not gotten used to it. She used to heal through everything and it’s hard to realize that she has to be more careful; she’s closer to being human now more than ever.

 

“There we go! “ The woman says and smiles, finishing off the stiches by cutting the leftover ‘string’ off. “You can’t take the band aid off for the next twenty four hours, then you’ll have to change it every week or so. “

 

“Okay, yeah. Cool, thanks. “ Kara mumbles and jumps off the bed and almost falling over as her right arm doesn’t carry her weight as much as she’d liked.

 

“Woah, there. Your arm will still feel a little out of place, don’t worry, “ The lady says and laughs shortly. It’s arm and nice and Kara now feels more dizzy than before.

 

“Thank you… “ Kara says, looking for her name tag but it’s not there. Then Kara realizes she’s just staring at a stranger’s chest, so she locks eyes with the floor.

 

“Lena, “ The woman says and smiles. “Lena Luthor. “


	2. Chapter 2

“What the _hell_ were you thinking? “ Alex screams and Kara has never been this happy to only be talking over the phone. “You… We talked about this, Kara. We _agreed_ for you not to do this! You promised me that you wouldn’t take on anything as long as I’m gone! “

 

“I know, Alex! I know and I’m sorry, but I’m okay! Nothing happened, I’m perfectly fine, really! “ Kara says, thinking shortly of the eight stiches in her arm and then deciding not to tell Alex.

 

“I feel like you’re lying, “ Alex says and sighs. “I’m coming home- “

 

“No! Don’t, Alex! You and Maggie have been looking forward to this trip for _months_! Do not come home just because of me! Look, I’ll be careful, I always am. I’ll be extra careful, really! Just... I’m sorry? “ Kara asks, wincing at the sound of Alex sighing loudly.

 

“Okay… Fine. Go fight bad guys and make me suffer as you do, “ Alex says and Kara can tell she’s about to hang up.

 

“LOVE YOU! “ She screams into the phone before hearing a muffled voice saying “love you, too” and then hanging up.

 

“Is she really mad? “ Winn asks as she turns up the volume of the TV again.

 

“Yup, she’s really mad. “ Kara sighs and falls back against the back of the couch, letting her feet drop onto the coffee table.

 

“How’s the arm? “ Winn asks and looks at the stiches that are now visible. It’s been a few days since it happened and Kara’s been letting it get some air, she googled it and the internet told her it’s good to let it breathe – whatever that means.

 

“It’s fine, Winn. Let’s just… Watch TV or something. “ Winn changes the channel a few times, quickly skipping over the News channels. “Winn? “ Kara says, annoyed, and steals the remote from him. She checks the news and the man behind the screens is talking about a small shootout down town.

 

“Kara, no! You _just_ talked to Alex about this! “ But before he finishes his sentence, Kara’s gone from the apartment. “Goddamn it, “ He mutters.

 

 

So Kara fights the bad people again, this time the bad guys being a teenage girl with a gun way too big for her hands right in front of her. “Don’t… Do anything stupid, “ Kara says, holding out her hands right in front of her. She’s already taken the teenage boy out, he’s somewhere with the cops now. “Please tell me what happened here. “

 

The girl shakes her head, picks up the gun and Kara hears the click as she loads it. It’s pointed right towards Kara and she’s too close now to just fly away without getting hit. “Let him go! “ The girl screams. There’re tears streaming down her face and blood flowing from a cut in her forehead and cheek. “He didn’t do anything wrong! “ She cries.

 

“I know… I know, sweetie. Please- “ Kara tries, slowly taking a step forward and still keeping her hands in the air. “If you tell me what happened- Why you’re here, maybe I can get you both out of this without anyone getting hurt. “

 

For a second Kara’s sure she hit a soft spot with the girl, she’s sure the gun would just be dropped and nothing would happen. But then someone hits Kara hard in her back and she falls forward with the sound of the girl’s scream and cry.

 

Kara gets up quickly, turning around to see a man in a ragged suit with a metal baseball bat in his hands. Kara grabs it as he tries to swing it again, pulls it out of his hands with ease and snaps it in half.

 

“What the- “ Kara hits him hard on the side of his head and knocks him out cold. She turns quickly to the girl, the gun is still in her hands but it’s no longer pointed at Kara.

 

“Who is that man? “ Kara asks, looking over her shoulder to find him still on the ground.

 

“He’s… He’s my dad- “ The girl cries and runs to Kara, hugging her tight.

 

“Shh, it’s okay. “ Kara smiles and gently takes the gun away from the girl and drops it on the ground away from them.

 

 

Kara waits in the tiny waiting room again. This time she notices how all of the walls are different shades of pastel blue and how the floor is a matching pastel yellow. She notices the pictures of the doctors and nurses with patients, they’re all hanging on the walls around her. She quickly notices the picture of her previous doctor named Lena Luthor and she tries to take her eyes away from it, but she can’t.

 

It’s not until a nurse comes to her and helps her down the hallway and into the familiar room. “Kara Danvers, “ A voice mutters from behind Kara.

 

“At your service, “ Kara says and curses at herself for already feeling the pink in her cheeks. She’s on the bed again, lying down this time. Her back aches from the hit and she’s even feeling dizzy – this time it’s not _just_ because of Lena Luthor.

 

“So did you try to cook again? “ Lena asks and walks to the bed. The light is dim and only one lamp is focusing on Kara, making her squeeze her eyes slightly to focus.

 

“ _Nooo_ , “ Kara mumbles. “I… Fell, actually. I hurt my back and I just need to make sure everything’s fine- “ Kara sighs. “Actually, _my sister_ needs to make sure everything’s fine. “ She corrects herself.

 

“Sounds like a good sister. I’m going to need you to take off your shirt and stand up for me, “ Lena says and washes her hands by the sink behind the bed.

 

“Take- Take off my shirt? “ Kara mutters. “Uhuh, okay. Yeah, okay, yup. Cool- “

 

“Unless you don’t want to. Where did you hurt your back? “

 

“Uhm, like, it was my lower back, actually. “

 

“Then you can just pull up your shirt slightly, “ Lena says and walks back around to Kara. Her smile is soft and there’s something so calming about the way she speaks. So Kara does as she’s told and pulls up her shirt, not noticing the way Lena’s eyebrows shoot up slightly at the sight of Kara’s abs. “Turn around, please. “

 

Lena turns on some more lights in the room to get a better view. She can now see that Kara’s back is bruised badly and there’s even a tiny cut right above the edge of her jeans.

 

“How did you- What did you land on? Metal? “ Lena asks, taking a step back. Kara pulls her shirt down and turns around, keeping her eyes on the floor again.

 

“I… It was just slippery in my bathroom and I fell. And hit the side of my tub. “ Kara lies and bits her lower lip. Why does her stomach hurt as she makes up the story?

 

“Uhuh, “ Lena says, crossing her arms. “As a doctor I can’t tell you to not lie to me. I can only advice you to tell the truth to get a better treatment, Kara… Danvers. “ She adds hastily.

 

“I told you the truth- “

 

“Sure, “ Lena says and turns around, looking for something in the drawers beneath a small desk.

 

“You can’t… You can’t get mad at me for falling? “ Kara says.

 

“Is that a question? As soon as you walk in here… You’re, uh, you’re my _patient_! And as a doctor who’s actually very fond of her _job_ , I like to be good at it and treat my patients so they don’t come back within two days, “ Lena says.

 

Kara takes a step back and then stops when her back hurts, forcing her to support herself on the side of the bed until the pain stops.

 

“Look, I’m- You’re bleeding, “ Lena suddenly says after turning around. “Your arm. “ She grabs some stuff from another drawer, the same things she used for Kara’s cut a few days ago.

 

Kara sits down on the bed and checks her wound on her right arm, surely enough, blood is staining her new, white sweater.

 

“Damn it, “ She mutters as she leans back against the top of the bed, Lena had pressed a button for it to go up to almost a sitting position – Kara was only mildly impressed by that.

 

“Take your shirt off, “ Lena says.

 

“You could, you know, buy me a drink first- “

 

“Kara, please. I’m trying to do my job here. “ So Kara does as she’s told and takes off her sweater, slowly because she doesn’t want to get blood everywhere and her back still aches. “The stiches have opened, “ Lena says and sighs loudly.

 

After about twenty minutes of fighting with Kara’s cut, it’s finally closed and she’s gotten a new band aid on it.

 

“I’ll prescribe some pain killers for your back, “ Lena says as she writes something down on a note. “Please, never let me see you _here_ again. “

 

“That was nice, “ Kara says and grabs the piece of paper. Once she’s outside she fiddles with it for a few seconds before walking down the hallway to find the kind nurse that helped her to Lena Luthor.

 

“I have no idea where to get this, “ Kara says and smiles, waving the piece of paper in front of the nurse behind the desk.

 

“I have it right here, “ She says sweetly, takes the note and disappears before returning with a yellow container full of tiny pills. “You can take two every three hours. These are pretty strong, dear. But the whole buying your doctor a drink thing, you’ll have to do that yourself. “

 

“What? “ Kara asks, shaking her head with a laugh.

 

“The note. It had whoever wrote this’ number on it, telling you to buy them a drink. “

 

“Oh… _Oh_! “ Kara says and feels the familiar burn in her cheeks. She grabs the tiny container and heads out the door, happy to feel fresh air against her skin.


	3. Chapter 3

“You’ve taken too many already, “ Winn says and turns off the TV. He’s wearing his familiar striped shirt, cardigan and somewhat loose jeans look. He looks so much like himself he could be an impersonator.

 

“I’m from space, Winn. I think these pills were made for humans and not aliens; I’ll survive taking a few more. “ Kara says as she feels the sweet relief of the pills starting to work.

 

“Are you ready to go, then? “ Winn asks, picking up his bag and swinging it over his shoulder.

 

“Actually, “ Kara says and turns around to face him on the other side of the massive table in the middle of the kitchen. “I’ve taken a day off. “

 

“ _A day off_!? “ Winn repeats, almost loosing his marbles as he looks at her in horror. “And miss Grant let you do that? “

 

“I just told her I needed some time to myself. “

 

“I’ll repeat myself; And miss Grant let you do that? “ Winn says in shock.

 

“ _Yes_ , Winn. She told me… She told me that if that’s what I needed then she couldn’t stop me. But also that she might have hired someone to replace when I’d be back from my personal _vacation_. “

 

“We both know she’ll never find anyone as good as you, “ Winn says, breathing in relief.

 

“Exactly. So that’s why I’m staying home, “ Kara mutters and adjusts her glasses with her thumb and index finger.

 

“Staying home? Kara? Not doing anything for an entire day? Kara? “ Winn mocks.

 

“Get out or else you’ll be late and miss Grant will kill you, “ Kara says and locks the door behind Winn.

 

“Okay, “ She breathes out and claps her hands together. “Let’s do this. “

 

It only takes her fifteen minutes to call her sister and apologies for interrupting Alex and Maggie’s romantic getaway.

 

“I have no idea what to wear today, “ Kara says.

 

“Aren’t you just going to work? “ Alex asks and someone laughs in the background, Kara guesses Alex has put her on speaker.

 

“Thanks Maggie. Look, Alex, this is a very important… _Work_ day. And I want to look good, “ Kara says, pulling out clothes from her closet.

 

“Take your blue skater dress, pair it with that braided leather belt and some white converse. You’ll be fine. “

 

“I think your date would love it! “ Maggie calls from the background and Alex shushes her as she hides her giggles.

 

“I hate you two, “ Kara says and falls back against the side of her bed. “Have fun being dorks together, bye! “

 

 

“You look… Not like you’ve just either cut yourself trying to cook or like you’ve fallen in the bathroom and hit your back against… Your bathtub, “ Lena says and sighs slightly.

 

“Thank you, I think. “ Kara mutters. “You look very, uh, nice, too. Not wearing one of those long white jacket things. “ Kara looks to the ground and feels her face burn. She shakes her head and they keep walking down the road. They’re walking between stalls on either side of them. People are selling food and clothes and jewelry all around them, calling out for their attention.

 

“Thank you, “ Lena says and laughs shortly. There’s something so special about seeing Lena somewhere that’s not a hospital. In her tiny room filled to the brim with equipment she seems like it’s her home away from home, like nothing could make her feel out of place there. But now she’s standing next to Kara, gently pushing her way past people as she tries not to get too annoyed by someone yelling at her because she’s not even looking at their stuff.

 

“Maybe this wasn’t the most… The best place to meet, “ Kara says.

 

“Maybe not, “ Lena mutters as she tries not to get in someone’s way, just to get in someone else’s way. She turns around and walks back slightly, people are coming from every direction and suddenly she can’t see Kara and people are pushing her and cursing at her and-

 

“Lena? “ Kara suddenly asks, grabbing out for her hand before Lena pulls it away quickly. “Are you okay? “

 

“Yeah, I’m… “ Lena shakes her heads and suddenly it’s like what she saw a second ago wasn’t even there. There’re not as many people as before and Kara’s standing right next to her, waiting for Lena to grab her hand to steady herself. But Lena doesn’t do it. She shuts her eyes, counts to five and opens them again. Now Kara’s hand is in her pockets.

 

“Come one. Let’s go, “ Kara says and leads a way out between two of the stalls. They end up standing by a long metal fence, keeping them away from the ocean they’re standing right above.

 

“I’m so sorry. Sometimes I just- “

 

“It’ okay, “ Kara says. She puts her hand on Lena’s arm for a second before removing it, remembering how she didn’t take her hand a minute ago. “Uh, you don’t have to tell me about it if you don’t want to. “

 

“Okay… Thank you, “ Lena says. She leans over the railing, looking out into the sea that stretches wide around them.

 

“How about that drink? “ Kara asks and grins when the corners of Lena’s mouth shoot up into a bright smile.

 

Inside the small bar the two girls sit down on each their chair right in front of the other, only a slim table between them. The air is thick from the heavy drinks and the crowds of people all sitting around a small stage where a young woman is performing with a slow song. Everything around them is made of heavy, dark wood, the walls are coated with random photos that make no sense to Kara and the man behind the bar is old and grumpy-looking.

 

“Been here a lot? “ Kara asks as one of the waiters smiles and waves shyly to Lena who just raises her drink slightly.

 

“A couple of times, maybe. “ Lena grins and looks back up at Kara, her hands folded neatly on the table in front of her. She’s taken off her long, brown coat and is now wearing a sheer, white shirt with the two top buttons open.

 

“It’s nice, “ Kara says and takes off her jacket too, revealing her short dress. She tugs at the sleeves of her grey cardigan. There’s a drink put out in front of her, Lena’s drinking the same thing. Kara hasn’t tasted it yet, unsure if she even should because of the bright, blue color.

 

“It’s not poisoned, “ Lena says as if she could read Kara’s mind. “It tastes like blueberries. I thought you would’ve might like that. “ She turns her head slightly, looking past Kara at something behind her.

 

Kara turns around to check but nothing’s there, just a few empty seats. “So why this bar? “ Kara asks and stirs her drink with her tiny spoon for a few seconds before pulling it closer to her, clearly considering.

 

“I just like it here, “ Lena says, breathing in slowly. “I’ve bee here for years now and it just has a special place in my heart- or something. “ She adds, looking down at the table again, hiding her blush.

 

“So, “ Kara says after a few minutes of silence. “You’re a doctor? “

 

“Nicely observed, “ Lena shoots back and laughs shortly. Kara sticks out her tongue at her and then stops, thinking Lena might see it as a weird thing to do.

 

“Why did you want to be a doctor, then? “

 

“Because, “ Lena says and straightens her back. “Mother wanted me to do something great and I thought doctor would be a nice thing. I’ve always liked the idea of helping people, it just made sense. “

 

“Do you like it? “ Kara asks, finally taking a sip of the drink. She opens her eyes wide and giggles slightly from the bubbly taste of blueberries. It’s sweet like candy but the bubbles makes it harsh in her throat.

 

Lena laughs and finishes her own drink. “It’s a tough job, but I enjoy it. “ Her words are slow, but she’s speaking to Kara in the same way as when she helped her at the hospital. “So what do you do for a living? “

 

Kara wants to tell her she helps people too. She wants impress her with the fact that she can fly, because Kara knows if someone told her they could fly, she’d instantly fall for them. But she just coughs slightly and clears her throat.

 

“I work at CatCo? “

 

“Is that a question? “ Lena laughs.

 

“Uh, no no no. “ Kara waves her hands quickly, almost knocking over her drink. “I just… It’s not as cool as, you know, saving people who somehow stab themselves trying to cook food. “ Kara feels the heat rise in her face by the sound of Lena’s short laugh. “I just, kind of, make sure everything’s all right for my boss. “

 

“That sounds tough, “ Lena says and Kara can tell she’s only adding that to make Kara feel better. It worked.

 

They order some fries to share and a couple more drinks, Kara gets them without the alcohol, she doesn’t have the intentions of getting tipsy on her first date with Lena Luthor. Suddenly her phone rings and she excuses herself as she takes it, turning away slightly from the table.

 

“Now? Really? Shoot, “ She swears. “Where? Can you text me an address? Okay, okay, yeah. I’ll be there. No, it’s fine. Okay, great. Bye! “ Kara hangs up and when she’s locked eyes with Lena again she releases a loud breath.

 

“You have to go? “ Lena says with a small voice Kara doesn’t recognize.

 

“Yeah, “ Kara mutters. “I’m so sorry, but it’s… It’s an emergency, really. Today has been amazing, uh, and, if you don’t mind of course, I’d like to, maybe, you know, do this again at some point, or, I don’t know, whatever. “ Kara fiddles with her jacket, pulling it on just to get her purse stuck in one of the sleeves. She takes it off and puts it on again, this time without any trouble.

 

She’s about to find some money in her purse to pay for her drinks, but Lena reaches out for Kara’s hand, standing next to her. “It’s okay. I don’t… I have a bill here, it’s fine. “ She smiles.

 

“Oh, okay. “ Kara nods. “I really have to go, “ She says, looking towards the door as her phone buzzes in her pocket.

 

“Of course, “ Lena says and her calm voice is back.


	4. Chapter 4

“Hank? Are you there? “ Kara clicks her little earpiece behind her ear to turn up the volume until Hank’s voice comes back.

 

“I’m here, Supergirl. I’ve sent you the address, get there fast. It’s a woman who’s broken into her ex’s apartment. She’s armed and has already shot wildly, hitting two civilians and one officer. “ Hank hangs up and Kara flies through the air until she hears the sound of gunfire and sirens. She dives down, landing right outside the apartment complex.

 

“Supergirl! “ An officer calls and waves her over. “We’ve got three officers in, just waiting for you. The woman has locked herself in the bedroom. She’s already fired wildly through the door; we’re not risking any more hurt. Be careful, “ She says and pats her lightly on the shoulder before letting Kara walk in.

 

Inside there’re spots of blood on the staircase, Kara guesses it’s from the wounded. She runs up the stairs and when she gets to the third floor, she sees the officers standing outside, guns out and ready.

 

“I’m going in to speak to her, okay? Wait until I call for you, “ Kara says and slowly walks inside. Everything inside is a mess. Furniture is upside down and all of the kitchen cabinets have been emptied to the ground. Kara makes a right, looking through the walls to find the woman sitting in the corner of the bedroom. She’s crying, Kara can hear her.

 

“Hello? “ Kara calls gently, two gunshots go off and she backs up a bit. “I’m Supergirl, miss. “ Kara walks around the corner, standing by the wall of the door to the bedroom. It’s almost completely shot down. “I’m here to help you, okay? Will you let me in? “

 

“Get the fuck away from me! “ The woman screams and Kara hears the sound of her loading the gun. So Kara makes a decision that she knows she’ll regret later on. She picks up a handle that was supposed to be on the door and throws it hard through the broken door. The woman screams in surprise and shoots towards it. Kara then jumps through the door and quickly kicks the gun out of the woman’s hands.

 

“Please! “ Kara says, picking up the gun and throwing it through the hole in the wall where the door was seconds ago. “Just relax and come with me. I’m here to help you, I pro- “

 

But Kara suddenly finds it hard to speak as the woman kicks her on the front of her knee, making her fall over. Kara’s on the floor and the woman is kicking her hard in the stomach. Kara grabs her leg and pulls her to the floor. She grabs the woman’s arms and holds them behind her back, hard.

 

“I was really trying to be nice, “ Kara says and blows some of her hair out of her face as she gets a firm grip on the lady’s hands. “You should try it. It’s pretty great. “

 

“Suck my- “

 

“Yup, that’s great. “ Kara feels the woman trying to kick her from behind, swinging her legs wildly up in the air until she hits Kara with the heel of her shoe. Kara gets up on her feet and drags the woman with her as she screams and moans in pain.

 

“Guys? “ Kara calls and after a few second the police come in, handcuff the woman who’s still trying to break free of their grip.

 

 

When Kara gets home she takes a long shower, enjoying the feeling of the water rushing down over her. Her knee hurts slightly but it’s not as bad as the cut in her arm. She looks at it and sees how the stiches are holding it together nicely. Only a small amount of blood is coming from it and Kara takes that as being good enough.

 

She hates those kinds of jobs. She’s much better at getting over hitting a few bad guys who’re just trying to rob a bank or someone’s who’s just lost their mind, it’s easier when she doesn’t think of them as being healthy and okay.

 

But that woman seemed to be fine, other than the fact that she shot people. Kara could tell that apartment had meaning for her. Some parts of it were more ruined than the rest, like the living room and kitchen were completely ruined. But the bedroom was fine. She hadn’t even sat on the bed; it was freshly made as far as Kara saw.

 

That makes Kara think about how the woman was just upset and had a very wrong way of reacting to her feelings.

 

“Kara? “ Winn calls from the living room, she needs to remember to lock her door.

 

“I’ll be there in a second! “ Kara calls as she gets out of the shower. She puts on her sweatpants and loose t-shirt that she’d put out for herself and walks into the living room to find Winn pacing back and forth.

 

“What’s up? “ She asks.

 

“Nothing nothing, everything’s fine. Or, you know, the fact that you were on a date with _Lena Luthor_ without telling me is a bit of a thing that’s ‘ _up_ ’, “ He says, using air quotes around the word ‘up’.

 

“W-What are you… talking about? “ Kara shakes her head as she pats her hair with her towel.

 

“You were on a date with _Lena fucking Luthor_. “ He repeats with wild eyes.

 

“Uh, you look insane when you do that, “ Kara says and points at his eyes. She walks to her fridge and gets a cup of yoghurt and a spoon from a drawer next to it.

 

“Kara. “ Winn walks to her and grabs her hand. “Lena Luthor? “ He shakes his head, not understanding.

 

“She’s… My doctor, actually- “

 

“She’s Lena Luthor. The sister to the guy who- “

 

“ _I know_ , Winn. I know what her _brother_ did! She didn’t do anything so don’t blame her for it. “ She jams her spoon hard into the cup of yoghurt and almost splashes it on herself. “She’s really nice, actually. “

 

“I… “ He mutters, shaking head and breathing in deeply. “If your cousin finds out, he’ll- “

 

“Understand and respect it, Winn. I-I thought you’d do the same, “ She says lowly and walks past him to sit on the couch. Her knee is aching, but she doesn’t want him to yell at her for more than one thing at a time.

 

“Just… Be careful, Kara. “ He’s grabbing the strap of his bag, which is swung across his shoulders.

 

“I always am, “ She says as she eats her yoghurt violently.

 

“If you keep eating like that I’m sure Lena will dump you anyway, “ He jokes and sits down next to Kara when she laughs shortly. “But how was it, then? “ He says shaking his head.

 

Kara looks at him. “It was nice. But we got interrupted… By a crazy lady with a gun in her ex boyfriend’s apartment. Just- You know, the usual. “ Kara shakes her head and Winn laughs shortly and stops when he sees Kara’s not laughing too.

 

“What’s wrong? “ He asks, throwing his bag on the floor and giving Kara space enough to lean up against his shoulder, which she then does.

 

“It’s just not always fun saving people when- when the ones doing the bad things aren’t actually bad. Just a bit… Not okay, you know? “

 

“Hey, “ Winn says when small tears start to drop from Kara’s chin and down on his shirt. “Hey, don’t cry, silly. It’s… It’s okay, really. Just, you know, they’re going to get help, I’m sure. “ He smiles shortly, obviously not knowing what to say.

 

“I should be the one helping them, “ Kara mutters.

 

“Kara, look at me. Kara, “ Winn says and sits up a bit. Kara turns her, now puffy, eyes to him and sniffs shortly. “You’re an alien. You have powers. You’re Supergirl. You’re saving people almost every single day and no one, _no one_ has asked you to do it. No one was counting on you, but you did it anyway. “

 

“I had to save Alex- “

 

“Yes, _Alex_. But you kept going, Kara. You became Supergirl and now, more than a year later, you’re _still_ doing it. You’re _still_ spending your time saving people. Don’t feel like you owe anyone anything, because you _don’t_. They- _we_ owe you _everything_. “

 

Kara feels the tears pressing against her eyelids as she closes them, letting the tears stream uncontrollably down her cheeks and down on Winn’s shirt. Soon after she’s drifting off, dreaming about something far more positive and nice than the world she sometimes feels trapped in.


	5. Chapter 5

The first thing Alex does when she walks through the front door to Kara’s apartment is run in for a tight hug. Then she takes a few steps away from Kara and punches her hard on her shoulder.

 

“Hey! “ Kara exclaims and pretends it actually hurt for more than a few seconds. “Nice to see you, too. “ She grumps.

 

“You’re an idiot, Kara. Winn filled me in on the new details of your dating life. Lena Luthor? “ She hisses. She takes her hands to her forehead as she paces back and forth, obviously trying to find a way to deal with this sudden burst of anger.

 

“Alex, calm down, “ Kara says, reaching out for Alex’s hand. “It’s fine, okay? She’s great, truly. Also we’ve been on like, two or three dates. It’s not… _Big_. “

 

“Everything you do is big, Kara. Three dates with you is like three years. “

 

“I’m not sure that’s a compliment, “ Kara says, tilting her head in confusion.

 

“You know what I mean, “ Alex says and shakes her head. “Just, you know, be careful. “

 

“Always am, “ Kara responds, feeling she’s said that one too many times this week.

 

 

Kara fills Alex in on what’s happened whilst she was gone – and she was _not_ happy to hear about the cut, the hit on the back and the, now, hurt knee. But Kara ends it all off with telling her about the, somewhat crazy, woman in the apartment.

 

“I’m sorry that had to happen, “ Alex says. She’s got a glass of wine in her hand and she’s sat with her feet up on the couch. The TV is blasting a show they’ve been watching together for a while now and even though Kara promised not to watch ahead of Alex, she’s yawning at the parts she’s already seen.

 

“It’s fine. It happens. “ Kara mutters as she wraps herself tighter in the fluffy blanket. “Tell me about you and Maggie’s trip. Did you do the sex? “ Kara winks and nudges Alex with her elbow.

 

“Ew, Kara! Don’t… “ Alex shakes her head and holds out her hand in front of her as she scrunches her nose slightly, laughing now. “We just… Hung out. “

 

“Ooh, _hung out_. Look’s like it’s getting pretty serious. “ Kara teases.

 

“We’ve been dating for almost a year, Kara. I would say it already _is_ pretty serious. “

 

“Whatever. “ Kara laughs.

 

“We went to beach a lot, went swimming, hiking. Uh! We ate at this weird seafood restaurant one night where they served shrimps _inside of a lobster_. Maggie threw up, what a _loser_. “ Alex laughs and Kara realizes how much she’s missed the way Alex’s face lights up and how her hands fly all around her when she talks about Maggie.

 

Maggie and Alex started dating soon after Kara began the whole Supergirl-thing. They, Maggie and Alex, were kind of forced to work on a few cases together and one night Alex just came home with this crazy grin on her face and Kara guessed the rest.

 

“Well, “ Alex says, putting down her glass and supporting herself on Kara’s leg as she gets up from the couch. “I should head home. I’ve got a very tired girlfriend in my bed and, no offence, I’d rather be there right now. “

 

“None taken, “ Kara says and lifts her glass slightly.

 

When the door shuts behind Alex, Kara checks her phone.

 

_Hey, Kara. Hopefully it isn’t too weird that I’m writing you. Anyway, I had a lot of fun and I was thinking, if you feel like it, maybe you’d join me at this event the hospital is having? It’s next week, I’ll text you the details if you feel like it._

_Xx Lena_

Kara had not thought of Lena as someone who would put ‘xx’ after her texts, but it makes her smile even brighter than before.

 

_Hi Lena!! Of course I’d like that. Tell me the time and date and I’ll be there! Also, what’s the dress code like? Anyway, see you soon!_

_XXXXX Kara_

Kara sends the text with confidence, not even thinking twice about the amount of ‘x’es’ she’s put. And then she just falls back against her bed, letting her thoughts fly wildly around her until she falls asleep, dreaming of weird things that make no sense.

 

 

“Supergirl, watch out! “ Is the last thing Kara hears before something very big and very hard hits her head and knocks her out. She has no idea how long she was out, but now she’s back on her feet, ready to fight again. Except for the fact that she’s now standing the medical room of the DEO.

 

“You’re awake, “ Alex says, keeping her eyes on a screen in her hand, noting something down.

 

“How long was I- “

 

“Five hours. “ Now Alex rips her eyes away from the screen and back on Kara. “ _Five hours, Kara_. “

 

“Wow – I- “

 

“ _Don’t_. “ Alex puts her hand up in front of her, eyes falling to the ground with a sigh. “I don’t know how much longer I can keep doing this- “

 

“What- “

 

“Kara, please, try to understand. _I am sending you out there_. All the time. I am the one who’s to blame if you don’t… If you don’t come back- “

 

“Alex! “ Kara shakes her head. She walks around the bed and over to her sister, placing her hands on her upper arms. “I always come back, you know that. I would never, _never_ , leave you. Don’t be silly! “ Kara grins slightly, trying to lift the mood. But Alex’s eyes are fixed on the floor and Kara can tell this is something she’s been thinking about for a while now.

 

“What if you didn’t wake up? I mean- you were hit in the head with a _fire hydrant._ Someone _actually_ threw a fire hydrant at you. You’ve been doing this, being Supergirl, for a long time now. And after what happened that night – where you lost some of your powers – people would understand if you- “

 

“I’m not – I can’t just stop helping this city, Alex. “

 

“But that’s the problem, Kara. You _can_. No one’s asking you to risk your life to stop bad guys the police can take. “ Alex shakes her head, suddenly feeling how the sadness shifts to anger. “I don’t want you to do this anymore. I am your sister and I- I can’t loose you, too. “

 

“Alex- “

 

“End of discussion. I’ve done my part, now talk to Hank about it. He agrees with me. “ Alex turns around and leaves the room. The glass doors and windows reveal how she’s half-running half-walking away, drying her tears away from her cheeks with her thumbs.

 

“No… “ Kara mutters and leans back against the edge of the bed.

 

She tries her hardest to look at this from Alex’s point of view. Yes, she’d be terrified all the time if it were Alex who was doing this. Yes, she’d hate herself for being a part of an organization that would send her into the dangerous parts of the job. And yes, she’d never forgive herself if anything ever happened to her.

 

But even though Kara goes over the points she’s making, she still knows she’s not going to stop. Because Supergirl is starting to be a bigger deal amongst herself than she’d ever expected. If she’s not Supergirl – who is she?

 

 

The week goes by fast. Kara spends a lot of time at work – Miss Grant is working on a massive project and she’s constantly telling Kara to do a million things at a time, so Kara does it. Alex never stops by, not a single time. Hank calls Kara multiple times just to tell her she should consider her priorities in her life – her _life_ being one of them.

 

But now Kara’s standing outside the hospital wearing a knee-length dress in black and with her hair in big, bouncy curls and her glasses securely on and she doesn’t want to be thinking about any of that.

 

“Kara! “ Lena’s bright voice fills Kara’s body with warmth and even though it’s still just January and it’s freezing outside, she feels the rush of heat go through her like a wave.

 

“Lena, “ Kara says and smiles brightly.

 

“I’m glad you could make it. Let me follow you inside, you must be cold. “ Lena’s talking with her ‘hospital voice’ again. It’s the one that’s clear and positive and couldn’t hurt anything in the world. Kara’s sure it’s made from liquid gold or stardust, but she doesn’t ask Lena about it. She just takes her hand and ignores the few people looking at them twice.

 

“It’s beautiful, “ Kara says once they get inside. The walls are plastered with fairy lights, some are twinkling and some are slowly gliding down the strings, it looks like a real Winter Wonderland.

 

She nods a hello to the people who greets Lena as they walk in together. “It’s to give all the people here a little bit of magic, “ Lena says, whispers, actually. Her mouth is right by Kara’s ear so she gulps loudly, nods and smiles enthusiastically.

 

The waiting room is filled with people in pretty dresses and fancy suits. That makes Kara stop to look at Lena, she was so surprised by the amazing decorations to notice what a wonderful dress Lena’s wearing. It’s skintight and curves along with her body nicely. It’s black but a red and purple pattern of flowers is flowing through it, matching the dark lipstick Lena’s also wearing.

 

“Everything okay? “ Lena asks and Kara’s sure Lena’s about to do a spin, because she turns slightly and that just makes Kara’s jaw drop.

 

“Uh, yeah, yes. Yes, everything’s okay, definitely. “ Kara nods and takes Lena’s hand again. They continue down one of the hallways and ends up in a big room. Kara remembers walking through it when she hurt her arm. Here the lights are also painting the room in a soft glow. Slow music is playing and there’s been put up a bar in one of the corners of the room.

 

People are out on the dance floor and Kara taps her feet along with the music. “You like to dance? “ Lena asks and now her ‘hospital voice’ is gone and she’s nervous and her hand is slightly sticky against Kara’s.

 

“It’s fun. We didn’t really dance on my planet- in my home, “ She says, correcting herself. After this many years of living on Earth, she should really be used to it by now.

 

Lena steps back a bit, leading Kara to one of the high tables that have been put by the walls of the room. People are standing by them with their drinks, men and women trying to convince their partners to dance.

 

“Uh! “ Kara jumps and claps happily. “This song- It’s _amazing_! “ She jolts, almost ripping Lena away from the table and out to the dance floor, not even pretending to listen to Lena’s complaints.

 

“Kara, “ Lena says. She’s smoothing the front of her dress down with her hands. Suddenly her legs have gone stiff and her calm smile is gone. “I don’t- I _can’t_ dance. “

 

“What are talking about? “ Kara laughs, already swinging her hips and moving her arms around like a crazy person. A few people are staring at her, but they’re smiling too. And suddenly more and more people are joining them on the floor and everyone’s dancing like wild animals – it really _is_ a classic-American-movie-moment.

 

“You look… Silly, “ Lena says and laughs. She crosses her arm and shakes her head, looking around her as if she’s scared someone might see her.

 

“I’m having fun. You should try it! “ Kara laughs and does a spin and a twirl and her dress swings out and flows around her. The song changes to a slow one and that makes Kara’s belly pinch and her eyes dart to the floor.

 

“This one is more my style, “ Lena says. She takes a step closer to Kara and takes her hand, with her other she puts it on Kara’s hip. Kara gets her hints and places _her_ other hand on Lena’s shoulder.

 

They sway slowly along with the soft violin and piano notes of the song. Kara guesses it’s a song Lena already knows, because she’s humming along to the melody. Her voice is soft and no, she’s not the best singer, but the peace is back in her and Kara can’t help but to stare at her calm face.

 

“You’re starring, you know that, right? “ Lena suddenly whispers, leaning up against Kara even more. Their cheeks almost touching each other.

 

“You’re very- “ Kara thinks for a second, not knowing which word would be the most perfect one to choose. “Breathtaking, “ She says and regrets it. It’s not the one she’d want to use. “No, perfect. No, not that one. Uhm, calm! _No_ , you’re very, uh, nice. “ She nods with her final choice and when Lena doesn’t say anything she leans back slightly.

 

Lena’s face is smiling but her eyes are glowing, tears starting to form in the rim of them. Her lips are slightly parted, but not for long, because suddenly she leans in a kisses Kara gently and then harder.

 

Kara pulls back with her cheeks flushed. She pushes her glasses up further onto her nose and giggles for a few seconds before remembering there other people in the room.

 

“Thank you, “ Lena whispers and they continue to move along with the music.

 

There’s something in the way Lena thanks her, Kara doesn’t understand why she did it. It makes her stomach hurt when she thinks about the possibility of Lena maybe not having heard someone speak of her in the way Kara just did.

 

But that seems impossible, Kara feels like there has to be a million men and women, just waiting to get an opportunity to speak to Lena. There has to be, it’s _Lena._


	6. Chapter 6

Kara’s phone starts ringing in the pocket of her dress and if it wasn’t for Lena noticing it, she wouldn’t have taken it. They’re standing by the entrance, Lena has been talking to few of her coworkers for a while now and Kara’s doing her best to understand all of the medical thing they’re saying. But it’s like they’re speaking in a secret code only they know about.

 

“Excuse me, “ She mutters before taking a few steps back to take the phone call. “This better be really important, “ She says.

 

“Kara. Please, tell me you’re home. “ Winn’s voice is panicked and that makes Kara’s voice fill with panic too.

 

“What? Why? “

 

“Because apparently there’s a big even at the hospital close to your apartment tonight and some group- they’ve been planning for weeks to attack it and they’re almost there. You need to get there _fast_! “ He says.

 

“Winn- How close are they- “ But then the sound of an explosion coming from the other end of the building, answers her question. People start to scream and run towards the exit with their heads down.

 

“Kara? Are you already there? What was that? “

 

“ _Yes, I’m already here, Winn._ I’m at the event! “

 

“Oh, that’s great! “ He sighs relieved.

 

“No, it’s not! I don’t have the suit! “ Kara hisses and turns to look at Lena. She’s gone. She can’t see her. “Oh no. “

 

“Kara. Listen to me, “ Alex has taken over the phone now and Kara can tell she’s in her work-mode. “Get home, change and get there fast. Don’t waist any time, I mean it. “ Alex hangs up and Kara curses for a few second before storming out of the building.

 

She runs down a small street until she gets to a slim road with no cars and no people. Then she jumps and flies as fast as can, feeling how the cold air stings her face. She lands on the roof of her apartment building and runs down the stairs, happy to live on the top floor.

 

Inside she changes her clothes in a second, jumps out her window and flies back to the hospital. The police have turned up, people are still running out of the building. The back part of it is on fire and Kara can hear the sirens coming at full speed.

 

She lands outside and runs in to where she saw Lena last. She’s still not there. People are running past her, pushing her to get through the door, so Kara runs down the hall, trying not to get in people’s way but they’re just too many.

 

She gets to the big room, the room she was dancing with Lena in just a couple of hours ago. There’s a massive hole in the roof and she can hear people calling for help. She runs to them, a lady has her leg stuck under a wall that’s fallen. Kara gets down and lifts it up as two police officers pull her out.

 

“They’re down the hall. In the second waiting room. “ One of the officers tell her and Kara runs as fast as she can. The further down she gets, the fewer people are there. She stops for a second to listen. She hears a weak mutter a familiar voice.

 

“Lena, “ She gasps. She blinks a few times before she concentrates enough to look through the walls. Only two rooms away she sees them, four massive creatures all standing around Lena - who’s sitting on the floor with her hands tied behind her back.

 

Kara runs through the doors and the second she gets inside the waiting room she’s hit by a beam of light. She falls against a wall and grunts in discomfort. Kara looks up and locks eyes with Lena for a split second before flying forward, punching the massive creature hard in the chest so it falls backwards and knocks itself out.

 

“S-Supergirl? “ Lena stutters as Kara turns to her with a concerned smile. “Watch out! “ Lena suddenly yells and Kara feels another one of the bright beams of light hit her from behind so she falls forward, landing next to Lena.

 

Kara jumps up, sending her heat vision towards the alien who just attacked her. She keeps doing it, pushing harder and harder until she’s up on her feet and the creature screams in pain and falls to the ground, dead.

 

Kara runs towards another one of the creature. This one has long arms sticking out on its sides. Massive, sharp claws on the end of each of the six fingers on one hand on one arm. They try to grab out after Kara, but she flies up, kicking it in the neck. As she lands behind it, she uses her heat vision once again until its back is bleeding heavily as it falls over.

 

Another one of the creatures runs towards Kara and she waits for it until it’s close enough for her to punch through its stomach. She leans back and kicks it against a wall that comes crashing down over it.

 

“Supergirl, please! “ Lena begs and Kara’s heart breaks at the sight of her. She’s bleeding from her head, her lip is cut open and her hands and legs are tied together. Kara runs to her and rips the plastic strips off her hands.

 

“Run, “ Kara says, trying not to look too long at Lena, scared she might find out.

 

“Will you be okay? “ Lena asks, but before Kara gets to answer she’s hit by another beam of light.

 

“ _Really_? “ Kara grunts and gets up from the ground. “That’s getting old, you know. “ She runs towards it, hitting it hard in its stomach, just to be picked up by her throat and thrown across the room.

 

 _‘Something stronger. Something harder’_ she thinks and looks around her. A metal tube is sticking out of a broken piece in the roof, water pouring out of it. She rips it off easily and holds it tight in her hands like a baseball bat.

 

The alien runs towards her with heavy steps, it’s long arms already grabbing out for Kara. But she swings the tube hard enough for it to let out a painful scream. She hits what she guesses is its hip and it falls to the side.

 

But suddenly its long arms grow longer and they get a firm grip around Kara’s throat again, this time not letting go. She feels how her head is pulsating and how her chest is shrinking, she needs air and she needs it now. Colors start to appear around her and she feels dizzy. Her throat is hurting and she can’t even begin to explain the pressure she feels on and in her chest.

 

About five or six loud bangs appear and Kara drops to the ground. She coughs and coughs, out of breath. Her lungs are empty of air and she can feel the marks the creature has left on her throat already.

 

When she gets up on her feet again she sees Lena standing next to the falling, bleeding alien. She has a gun in her hands, still pointed towards the alien. Her eyes are wide and wild and her lips are slightly parted.

 

“Thank you, “ Kara says, coughing in between the words as she leans up against a pillar in the room. Lena’s not saying or doing anything, she’s still standing, frozen to the stop, with the gun in her hand and eyes locked on the monster.

 

Kara walks over to her, slowly, not wanting to startle her. “You’re hurt, “ She says. Every bit of her wants to hug her and kiss her until she gets that calm and collected look back on her face. She hates seeing Lena this way, scared and in shock.

 

But Kara knows she can’t tell her anything. She needs to keep her Kara-life and her Supergirl-life apart, for her own good.

 

“Lena… Luthor, “ She adds. “You can put the gun down now. It’s over, it’s okay. _You’re_ okay. “ Kara reaches out for the gun as Lena’s eyes flicker towards Kara’s. Tears are lining them, making them shine bright in the flickering lights from around the room.

 

Lena drops the gun on the floor as if she suddenly had woken up and found herself somewhere completely strange. Her hands fall to her mouth with a gasp and she looks around the room. It’s a strange scene, Kara must give her that.

 

Aliens in black and red colors are lying dead on the floor, the room is a complete mess and Kara, well, Kara’s Supergirl and her heart is beating so fast because she doesn’t know if Lena recognizes her or not.

 

“I’ll lead you out, “ Kara says. She wants to grab Lena’s hand but she just leads her through the ruined hallways with a hand lightly on her elbow to make sure she’s still with her. Suddenly Lena stops right by the entrance of the hospital as if something just popped up in her mind.

 

“Kara, “ She says and Kara turns around quickly, eyes big and holding her breath. “Kara- She was here. Where is she? S- Supergirl, I’m sorry. But have you seen my friend Kara? She’s- She’s blonde and wears glasses and she’s wearing a dress and- “

 

“I’m sure she’s okay. Uh, everyone went outside after the first attack. Maybe she’s out there, “ Kara lies and hopes Lena’s too shocked and too out of her mind right now to believe her.

 

When they get outside people start clapping and calling Supergirl’s name. Kara gives everyone a short wave, but her mind is elsewhere. Lena’s looking around the crowd of people who were in the building just minutes ago and panic spreads on her face the longer she goes without finding Kara.

 

“Where’s Kara Danvers? “ Lena asks one of the officers in charge. He shakes his head and shrugs his shoulder, continuing to speak to another officer. “Kara Danvers? “ Lena asks a different officer, tugging at their sleeve to get their attention.

 

“Lena Luthor, “ Kara says, hands on her hips and chest out. It’s her way of making herself feel more in control of a situation. “They have already sent some of the civilians home. I’m sure your friend is at home, waiting for you to call her- “

 

“She wouldn’t- “ Lena breathes slowly in and out. “She wouldn’t leave, “ She says and there’s obvious pain in her expression.

 

“They’ve told people to go. The officers. Too many were here and the people who weren’t hurt, they were asked to leave. I’ll go check inside the building again, but I promise you she’s all right. “ Kara nods her head as she speaks, hoping Lena would understand.

 

“I’ll wait for you for when you’re done, then. I’ll call her, “ Lena says nodding and Kara’s sure it’s more to herself than to Kara.

 

So Kara walks back into the hospital to check for someone who’s not even there. The earpiece in her ear starts making a sound and she clicks it and Lena’s worried voice comes through loud and clear.

 

“Kara? Kara, please tell me you’re okay- “

 

“I’m okay, “ Kara answers. She can hear Lena let go of a deep breath and when she turns around, she can see Lena from afar with her shoulders slouched and a relived smile on her face.

 

“Are you home? Supergirl told me you went home. “

 

“Supergirl? “ Kara says, acting surprised.

 

“Yes, she- she kind of saved my life. It’s a very insane story, I’ll tell you later. I’m just glad you’re okay. “

 

“Should I be worried about you and Supergirl, then? “ Kara teases.

 

“Maybe, “ Lena says and Kara can see she’s smirking into her phone. “Just… I want to see you, now. I need to- “

 

“I understand. I feel the same way. I’ll text you my address. I’m ready in fifteen minutes, okay? “ Lena doesn’t say anything, but Kara can see she’s nodding into her phone. “Great, “ She says and Lena laughs slightly.

 

“Great, “ Lena repeats with a smile.

 

 

Kara checks the hospital quickly. The police are already doing it, they’ve gone through most of the rooms by the time Kara gets Lena to hang up. A few patients were hurt because of the explosions, but nothing major.

 

Kara explains what happened after she went in to get Lena to one of the officers and when she’s told her story a few times she flies away and back home. Her apartment is cold so she puts on the heating and changes out of her suit. Those red and blue colors are starting to mean much more to her than what she’d expected.

 

Kara finds a pair of loose trouser and pairs them with a tank top with a picture of a sloth on it. She puts her hair up in a loose ponytail and puts on her glasses again.

 

Two short knocks on the door make Kara’s heartbeat faster. She looks towards the door, sees through it and finds Lena fiddling with her hands and looking down at the ground.

 

Kara walks to it fast and opens it with a smile. Lena looks up and the line between her eyebrows disappear in an instant. She falls up against Kara, wrapping her arms around her tightly and a sob escapes.

 

“It’s okay, “ Kara whispers as she hugs Lena tight, wanting to get as close to her as possible, wanting to create a bubble around them were nothing can touch them.

 

“I thought- I thought- “ Lena tries, but her words are blurry and she’s crying too hard to get them out.

 

“I know. I’m sorry. I don’t- I shouldn’t have left. “ Kara lets go of her and closes the door behind them as Lena makes her way to the couch. She sits down slowly, taking in Kara’s apartment.

 

“They- whatever they were, they- they were after me, I think. I don’t- I don’t know why. But they _took me_ , “ Lena says in between silent sobs. Kara gives her a glass of water and sits down next to her, placing her hand on Lena’s knee.

 

“You’re bleeding, “ Kara says all of a sudden. She walks to the kitchen, finds her first aid box and takes out a few things to clean Lena’s cuts.

 

“Ouch, “ Lena grunts and flinches as Kara puts a small band aid on Lena’s cheek.

 

“You look silly. “ Kara giggles. Lena pushes her gently with a grin on her face. She’s a lot more calm now and the exhaustion is starting to hit her, Kara can tell. “Do you want to go home and sleep or- “

 

“I’d like to stay here. If you don’t mind- “

 

“Of course not. “ Kara smiles and takes her hand. “I’m so sorry for what happened today, okay? I’m just glad you’re all right. “

 

“Me too. “ Lena smiles sadly and leans back into Kara’s arms, placing a kiss on the edge of her mouth before they lie down on the couch together.

 

Lena falls asleep with a hot feeling in her body, a feeling she hasn’t felt since the night after she was adopted. She wants to tell Kara about this, about her life, her past, her family and, most of all, about how she’s feeling.

 

But she knows what people think when they find out what Luthor actually means and she can’t, she _won’t_ , risk it with Kara.

 

So she just shuts her eyes and listens to the way Kara’s breathing slows down and eventually Lena’s does the same.


	7. Chapter 7

“So what do you think? “ Kara asks, crossing her arms and leaning up against Winn’s desk. They’re in the DEO building – the new and fancy one that no one felt like telling her about. _No_ , she’s _not_ upset about that.

 

“I think it’s a risk, but maybe something good will come out of it. Look, Kara, these people are not afraid of you- “

 

“I’m not afraid of them either, “ Kara says and shakes her head. People are running around like ants. After half the hospital blew up there’s been more work than ever. And both Winn and Kara have two jobs to take care of and Cat Grant has also been obsessing over the attack on the hospital.

 

“You should be! “ Winn waves his arms around himself and gets up from his desk. He grabs a few files from his left and walks, Kara following him. “ _Yes_ , you cought a few of them. And _yes_ , it was pretty badass. But, Kara- Listen, it seemed like a planned attack. They knew about the event and they knew that Lena Luthor would be there- “

 

“Don’t drag her into this- “

 

“ _She’s already in it,_ Kara! The aliens went for _her._ They took _her_. “ Winn shakes his head as he puts the files in a drawer with a sigh. “Her brother is literally the Super-Alien-Hater and because of his… _Absence_ , the aliens are going for her. We’ve already given her the chance of extra security, but she says she doesn’t want it. Kara, this is fishy. “

 

“ _You’re_ fishy, “ Kara mutters, shaking her head and following Winn back to his desk. “I will keep her safe, I promise. But I need you to promise me to not accuse her of anything her brother did. “

 

“Kara, “ Alex’s voice is firm and she’s in work-mode. Her hands are on her hips, right above the belt that holds her gun and other weapons Kara’s not allowed to touch.

 

“My sweet and loving sister, “ Kara says, smiles and turns around to face Alex.

 

“I’m going to need you, _Supergirl_ , to go talk to Lena Luthor. Ask her about what happened two days ago when the hospital got attacked. Gather as much information you can about her, her brother and the company she didn’t want. I need- “

 

“ _No_! “ Kara almost yells, stomping her foot in the ground, which just causes one of the tiles to shatter. “Shoot, “ She whispers before returning her attention to Alex. “I am _not_ going to do that. “

 

“Well, you have to. This is your job, Kara. You’re Supergirl, now go act like it. “

 

Kara stomps the ground one more time, this time not as hard to prevent getting Hank angry with her too, before she walks past Alex and Winn and flies off through the open window at the top of the staircase.

 

 

“Supergirl, “ Lena gasps shortly before returning to her calmed self. She’s sitting by her desk in her office. It’s a different room from the room Kara’s been in before. This one is in the corner of the hospital. Two of the walls are covered in windows and it’s on the top floor with a view over most of the city.

 

“Miss Luthor, “ Kara says. Her hands are on her hips and her chin is lifted. She swallows thickly. “I need to ask you a few questions about- “

 

“The attack and my brother, of course. It took you a while, didn’t it? I really thought you’d be here the very next day. “ Lena huffs as she continues to type something on her computer. She’s pretty much ignoring Kara completely.

 

“I- Uh, well- “ Kara stumbles over her words for a few second before shaking her head quickly and returning to her usual Supergirl-self. “Miss Luthor, please, there’re just a few things I need to know and then I will leave. It’s not for the press or _to have_ _anything_ against you in the future. It’s just to help me understand what I’m up against and why they would come for you. “

 

Kara looks around the office. It’s decorated with books, flowers and a million notebooks and papers scattered around in piles. There’s a yellow rug on the floor. Lena’s desk is made of glass with white lines around the edges to keep it together.

 

Everything looks classy and elegant, something Kara wouldn’t’ve thought to be a doctor’s office.

 

“I am forever grateful for the fact that you saved my life, Supergirl. But that is where the kindness ends. “ Lena stands up from her desk and walks around it, sitting on the edge of it right in front of Kara.

 

“I disagree with the things my brother have done and the way he thinks. I understand that he’s- “ She stops to think for a second, not moving her eyes from Kara’s. “Not stable. I have done everything I can to keep myself away from him and his doings. I moved away, sold the company, got an education and a job and have not spoken to him in years, Supergirl. “

 

Lena stands up and walks up to Kara with slow steps, her hands folded neatly in front of her. “So if you’re here to _grill_ me about Lex then I am _not_ having it. I’ve told you what I know- now _please leave_. “ Lena’s words are harsh and Kara finds herself standing in awe. Her mouth slightly open and her heart racing.

 

Even though Lena doesn’t know Kara’s Supergirl, she still feels like the pain of an argument with someone you care about. So she swallows slowly and nods. Walking past her to the open window from the slim balcony.

 

“I’m sorry, “ Kara says, her voice breaking slightly. She flies off before the tears start pressing against her eyes and her throat getting scratchy.

 

 

“You’re late, “ Miss Grant says, dumping a file on her desk with a sigh. She pushes her cat-eyed glasses up her nose and shoots Kara a look. “Why do you look like that? “

 

“Like what? “ Kara asks, forcing her voice to sound cheerful.

 

“Like you’ve just dragged your dead cat home by its tail. “

 

“Oh, uh- “ Kara mutters, shaking her head. “Just had a rough start to the day, I think- “

 

“Not interested anymore, “ Cat says and sits down in her chair. “Just do your job and leave everything _personal_ at home. I’m sure you know how to do that. “ She says the last thing with what Kara swears is a wink and a smile.

 

 

After hours of listening to Cat complain about everything between heaven and earth, Kara finally lands in her bed with a sigh. There’re fake, glow-in-the-dark stars stuck to the roof of her bedroom. After an entire day of it being hit by sunlight, they glow up in different shades of blue, white and yellow and it makes Kara think of her view from her bedroom back at Krypton.

 

Her eyes start to sting from tears and she lets them, she lets the tears fall down the sides of her face because she’s too tired to care about it. She’s had a rough day, a rough year, actually.

 

She loves being Supergirl, she really does. She loves the people around her, her sister, Winn, James and, yes, even Cat Grant. They get upset with her and she gets upset with them, she’s used to it.

 

But this morning, with everything that happened with Lena- She’s just drained from all sorts of energy. Her phone is ringing from the pocket of her coat by the door, she can hear the buzzing sound and from the melody it makes she guesses it’s Lena.

 

This might be the first time she doesn’t feel like talking to her. Even though Lena thinks she fought with Supergirl and not Kara, Kara can’t shake the feeling of disappointment off.

 

“Kara? “ Someone calls through her front door and when Kara turns the corner from her bedroom to her living room, she can tell it’s Lena – she _is_ looking through the front door, so it’s not a hard guess.

 

“Kara, please. If you’re home, please let me in. “ Lena begs and knocks a few more times. Kara sighs for a second before walking – maybe more like running – to the door. “Kara- “

 

“I’m not in a good mood right now, sorry, “ Kara says. She keeps standing in the doorway.

 

“What happened? “ Lena asks, a crease appearing between her eyebrows. She’s wearing a long, brown coat over a dark, purple blouse and with loose, black trouser and a pair of heels. Her hair is up in a tight ponytail, but little locks of hair have fallen to frame her face.

 

Kara swallows slowly and her eyes fall to the floor. “Nothing- Just, you know- “ She looks up for a second, but Lena’s worried face makes her throat hurt so she closes her eyes. “I’ve had a long day, “ Kara says, opening her eyes and sighing.

 

“I’m sorry to hear that, “ Lena says, formally. “Is- is there anything I can do to help? “ She’s obviously confused and concerned.

 

“Yes. “ Kara nods, loosening her grip around the door handle. “My- my friend is friends with Supergirl, “ Kara blurts out and she notices how Lena’s go big for a few seconds, then returning to normal. “And- Uh, he, uh- actually he said that, uhm, that you- “

 

“That I’m not a big fan of her? “ Lena laughs but it’s tight and dry, not warm and something Kara wish she could keep in a box and take with her all the time.

 

“Uh- yeah. Why- if you don’t mind me asking – why is it you don’t like her? “ Kara’s hands are sweaty and she’s sure her face is bright pink.

 

“It’s not that I don’t like her, Kara. Supergirl has done amazing things for this town and _she saved my life_ , but she- “ Lena stops and thinks for a second. “Maybe this isn’t the best thing to talk about if you’re already in a bad mood, “ Lena says and laughs shortly, feeling awkward and out of place.

 

“I- I know Supergirl, too, actually, “ Kara says, adjusting her glasses with her thumb and index finger. “And- I’d like to know, you know, why, uh, why you’re not, well, why you don’t like her- “

 

“How do you know Supergirl? “ Lena asks, turning her face slightly with a smile.

 

“Uuuh, “ Kara mumbles. “Just- uh, friend of a friend, yeah, just a- I- friend of a friend, “ She says and sighs slightly.

 

“Uhuh, “ Lena says and smiles. “How about we save this for another day? “

 

“Okay, sure. “ Kara nods.


	8. Chapter 8

Kara feels like ‘Hurt’ by Johnny Cash is playing over and over in her entire body. She’s standing outside her ‘room’ at the DEO office. She’s standing in front of a giant metal door and she knows exactly what’s inside.

 

Or what used to be inside.

 

“Kara? “

 

“Huh? “ Kara turns around, getting kicked out of her head and back to Earth, the place she finds herself not wanting to be lately.

 

“Why are you just standing there? “ Mon-El’s slightly laughing, but there’s an inch of concern on his face.

 

“I- “ Kara thinks for a second. “I don’t know, “ She sighs and her shoulders fall.

 

“Hey- “ Mon-El walks over to her, putting one arm around her upper back comfortingly. “What’s going on? You’ve been… Distant. All day, “ He says and with his other hand he forces her eyes to his.

 

Kara remembers how much she hated him when he got to Earth the first time. She remembers how everything he said and did made her face hot with anger and how he didn’t understand why he couldn’t just go out and lift cars and beat up guys for money.

 

Now she understands how much she needs him. She understands how important it is for her to have someone like herself, someone not from Earth, around her. Because even though she’s known Alex since she was a kid, Alex will never understand how it feels to know that you can never go home.

 

“I- I- I just- “ Kara’s voice breaks and the tears start to press against her closed eyes.

 

“Let’s go inside, “ Mon-El says, pressing a button by the door and it slides open and closes behind them once they’re inside.

 

The room is big and cold. Metal is forming the rounded walls, the floor is a dark grey tile and so is the roof. There’s a round platform in the middle of the room and on it is a slimmer, taller podium with a button and a little screen on. Kara’s pressed that button so many times the little circle has rubbed off.

 

“Do you- Do you want to talk to her? “ Mon-El asks, referring to the hologram version of her mother, the one who can help Kara with everything except for the important things.

 

“No- “ Kara cries. She sits down on the edge of the podium and Mon-El follows.

 

“What’s wrong, Kara? “ Mon-El lays a hand on her knee.

 

“I feel like- “ Kara thinks for a second. “I feel like I’m loosing. “

 

“Loosing? “ He repeats.

 

“ _Yes_. I’m loosing myself and… Mon-El, I don’t know who I am anymore. “

 

“What do you mean? “

 

“I came here, just like you did, because my planet was destroyed and I was supposed to be this- the person I am. I was supposed to be Kara Danvers and Supergirl and- “ She takes a deep breath, fighting the tears that are streaming down her cheeks, painting the knees of her jeans dark.

 

“I hate myself for wanting to go back, “ Kara whispers. “I love Alex- and I love all of you and everything that you’ve all done for me, I’m forever grateful, of course. But- this is not my home. “ Her voice is shaking and her head is hurting from the cries she’s fighting to hold back.

 

“My parents _died_ and they send me here- to- to- “ Kara shakes her head and lets out a shaky breath. “They send me here to save people and I’ve done that. _I’ve saved people for a long time now._ And even though people are telling me it’s okay if I don’t want to do it anymore- “

 

“Kara- “

 

“No! “ She shakes her head, holding out her hand between her and Mon-El. “Even though people tell me it’s okay- I just- I can’t believe I’m even _thinking_ this. But I am _so tired of saving people_ because- because _I need to be saved_. And I need to be happy and I haven’t been happy- not really. And now I’m trying- I’m trying to be happy with Lena- and- and _Supergirl_ is getting in the way and- “ Kara cries loudly, her shoulders shaking and her head falling to her knees, hugging them tightly.

 

“You’re not Supergirl. You’re not Kara Danvers, “ Mon-El says, shifting slightly in his seat. “You’re Kara Zor-El and no matter what suit or job or _anything_ \- you’ll always be Kara Zor-El. I miss everything, too. We lost everything- both of us. But we’re fighters, “ Mon-El says with a smile as he takes Kara’s hand. “So we fight. “

 

“ _I don’t want to fight_ , “ Kara whispers, her voice disappearing through the sobs. “I want to go home- “

 

“But you can’t, Kara. We can’t go home and it sucks- it fucking sucks, “ Mon-El says.

 

Kara jumps up, ripping her hand away from Mon-El in anger. She paces to the door and back, her eyes falling to the button on the podium. She walks to it with quick steps and slams her hand down on it.

 

The hologram of her mother comes out, her stern face and hands folded neatly in front of her. “Why did you send me to Earth? “ Kara asks, almost screams. Mon-El gets up and turns around, trying to grab Kara’s hand but she ignores him, pulling her hand to herself.

 

“I never asked to be here! I never asked to leave you! “ Kara screams. She feels the way her head start to heat up just before her heat vision comes. “I loved you and you- you- _you forced me to live my life without you_! “

 

Mon-El holds her tight and she feels like he’s crushing her, but she needs it- god she needs it so much. She needs the comfort and the love and she needs him because even though she doesn’t want him to understand and tell her it’s okay, she knows – deep inside of herself – that he feels the same way because he lost everything too.

 

 

Mon-El’s sent her home for the day. Kara’s phone has been buzzing for the past few hours, all of it from Alex. She can’t deal with it, she doesn’t want to. Kara gets days like these ones. Days where everything is hitting her at once, Alex usually tells her it’s because she’s so happy and positive about everything all the time and when something suddenly isn’t okay, well, Kara just breaks.

 

She’s changed her clothes to her Supergirl outfit, because even though the thought of being Supergirl right now makes her head ache even more, she wants to fly around for a while to empty her mind.

 

Outside the sky is dark and cloudy, the wind is blowing against her, forcing her to fight a little harder to stay up. It’s getting late now, Kara feels like the day has been long and hard, like she remembers every bit of it, but still everything is a blur in her head.

 

She turns right between two, tall buildings and without thinking about it she makes a left and is now heading for the hospital. She’s hovering above it. They started rebuilding everything quickly after the attack. Most of the patients have been moved to a different hospital nearby.

 

It feels like forever ago already but it’s been less than a week. She flies around the hospital to the children’s part of it. The windows are toned in different colors and someone’s painted the outside of it like a big castle. Kara’s forever thankful that the aliens didn’t attack this part of the hospital.

 

She flies lower to look through the windows from afar. A boy, maybe about nine or ten years old, runs to his window, slamming his hand against it with a big, bright smile on his face. Kara flies closer to him and waves as he jumps up and down, turning around to his parents who look tired but happy.

 

Kara waves to them too and suddenly more and more kids are coming to their windows, all of them smiling and waving to her. She feels like her heart is exploding because of this warm, fussy feeling inside of her.

 

“Thank you, “ She whispers even though no one would be able to hear her.

 

She flies away slowly, making sure to look back with a grin as the kids walk away from their windows, all of them looking like they’re retelling their parents and friends what just happened.

 

Little drops of rain start to flicker down on her from the sky and she feels the cold air start to get to her. She flies back to her apartment and gets down to her floor from the roof. Outside of her door is a beautiful woman dressed in a tight, knee-length dress. Her hair is up in a high ponytail and she has a dark, matte lip color on.

 

“Lena, “ Kara gasps.

 

“Supergirl? “ Her brow furrows. She turns away from Kara’s front door and takes a step towards her.

 

“I- I came to see Kara. “

 

“That makes two of us, then, “ Lena says. She lifts her chin slightly. “I don’t think she’s home, though. She hasn’t opened the door yet. “

 

“Maybe- “ Kara stops herself.

 

“Maybe she just doesn’t want to see me? “ Lena asks and laughs slightly afterwards, but her eyes fall to the ground and her smile disappears. “Maybe. But I want to see her. So if you speak to her at some point, tell her that I’m sorry if I hurt her or said something wrong. “

 

Lena walks past Kara. Kara stands still outside her apartment until she hears the sound of the elevator beep as it hits the first floor. She runs inside her apartment, changes her clothes and runs back down the stairs until she gets outside.

 

Lena’s standing by the road, waiting for a cab to come get her. “Lena! “ She calls and waves her hand frantically. “Lena, please! “ She runs to her and she can feel her heartbeat in her throat and her hands are shaking.

 

“Kara? I thought you weren’t home- “

 

“I am- was. Look, “ Kara says and shakes her head. “I like you- a lot, actually. And I’m not always the best at those kinds of things, you know. Like, I get, uh, I get weird and nervous about the tiniest things and- well, sometimes I just don’t know how to do it. I have a million things in my life and- balancing and dealing with things is hard for me sometimes. “

 

Kara takes a step closer to Lena, reaching out for her hand and holding it tight. Lena’s fingers are cold against her and she likes to think she’s warming them up. “It’s okay if you don’t like Supergirl and it’s okay if you don’t want to tell me why you don’t like her. “

 

Lena sighs slightly, looking down at the ground and then back at Kara. “I was adopted when I was four years old. I didn’t have a good childhood- my mother liked Lex the most, of course. I didn’t understand why I was never good enough, so I did everything I could to be what she wanted me to be. “

 

“She wanted Lex to be this master genius and for him to do these ‘great things’. They never told me what they were doing, I always just thought it was something with Luthor Corp, you know. And then he made the mistake of telling me what was going on. I think he thought I was like him. “

 

“The moment I found out I- I just had to leave. I knew I couldn’t stop them so I had to get away from it- away from him. I faked documents and within a couple of weeks I had owned the company, sold it and moved here. I became a doctor, got a good apartment and- well, I met you, “ Lena says the last thing with a smile.

 

“So no, Kara, it’s not that I don’t like Supergirl. It’s just that- that _her kind_ made it possible for my brother to go mad and even though I don’t want to… I blame her for it because I don’t have anyone else to blame. “

 

Kara’s standing with her mouth slightly open and her hands are nervously intertwined with Lena’s. Her heart is beating so fast and she doesn’t know what to do. _Lena blames me for it. Lena will never understand. Lena will hate me. Lena_ -

 

“Are you crying? “ Lena asks and her mouth curls up into a worried smile. She takes a step closer to Kara, wiping her tears away as her smile widens. “I didn’t mean to make you cry. “

 

“I- “ Kara tries but she can’t. She doesn’t know what it is she can’t do or say, she just knows that she can’t. “Sorry, “ She whispers.

 

“It’s okay, “ Lena says as she tilts her head. “It’s okay to cry. It always is. “

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for all the cute comments i've been getting lately. they mean a lot!
> 
> <3


	9. Chapter 9

When Kara doesn’t come to work the next day Winn calls her every ten minutes and Kara doesn’t pick up a single time. Mon-El texts her, telling her that Winn is freaking out and that he’s ‘just too adorable’ and that ‘he can’t take it’. Alex texts her one time.

 

_If you’re not okay and if it’s important and something big._

_Tell me._

_Alex._

The text was probably meant to be nice and concerning, but to Kara it feels like her problem has to be big for Alex to help. And it’s silly for Kara to think that way, because all she has to do is tell Alex what’s going on, tell her that she’s not happy anymore and that she doesn’t know what to do with herself, and Alex will find a solution.

 

Alex wants Kara to stop being Supergirl. Kara wants to stop being Supergirl.

 

It sounds so simple it makes Kara laugh. There’s a problem and there’s a solution. But then there’re all of those small things that are tearing Kara’s head apart. _What about the citizens? What about her life when she stops? It’s not going to help stop being Supergirl when she still doesn’t know whom she is and what she’s supposed to do?_

_And what about Lena?_

“Kara, if you don’t open your door I’ll call the cops! “ Winn calls as he knocks on the door loudly.

 

“I’ll make sure he doesn’t, Kara! “ Mon-El calls and when Kara turns from the couch to look through the door, she can see the outlines of Mon-El holding Winn’s hand.

 

“I don’t want company, “ Kara says and sighs at the way Winn’s head turns from Mon-El’s shoulder and to the door.

 

“I don’t care! “ Winn yells and starts knocking on the door again. Mon-El sighs, his shoulders slumping slightly.

 

“Sorry about this, Kara. “ He grabs the handle and jerks it around for a second before ripping it off, leaving the door to fall open. Winn runs in, dropping his bag on the floor by the kitchen and running to Kara.

 

“Great! You’re still alive, “ He says a little too loud. “Now, what the _hell_ is going on? “ His face is red and hot and his fists are clenched. Kara puts down the bowl of ice cream and turns off her TV slowly. She puts on her glasses just to take them off shortly after, her wet hair making the glasses wet and hard to see through.

 

“Winn- “ Mon-El tries, walking up to him and putting a hand on his arm.

 

“No! “ Winn says, pulling his arm away from Mon-El. “I- Kara, talk to me! “

 

“Winn- “ Mon-El tries again.

 

“No, it’s okay, “ Kara says. She leans back against the side of her couch, sitting down on the edge of it. “I’ve not been feeling- you know- great. I just- just- I don’t know who I am… Anymore. I- I don’t know what I’m supposed to be doing and I don’t know what I _am_ doing. “ She swallows hard, licks her lips and looks back up at Winn.

 

“I- Alex doesn’t want me to be Supergirl and neither does Hank. And- you know- _You’re_ not overly exited about it anymore either. _I_ don’t even know what I want to do. I- I thought I did everything right with being Supergirl and I know that I _am._ But- but I don’t understand why I’m not… _Happy,_ “ She whispers the last word and her head falls to the ground.

 

“Lena helped a lot without even knowing she did. But then- “ Kara stops for a second, not wanting to tell them Lena’s entire life story. “She doesn’t like Supergirl and I- without knowing- I ruined some things for her by being Supergirl and now I can’t tell her that I’m Supergirl because- you know- she’d hate me. “

 

“And I don’t want her to hate because she’s actually pretty… Cool. “ Kara sighs. “And Alex doesn’t understand and she doesn’t _want_ to understand and she doesn’t even _try_. She’s supposed to understand and help me with this, but she’s- “ Kara shakes her head. “She’s angry with me for liking Lena. “

 

“Alex’s not angry, “ Winn says, shaking his head and furrowing his brows. “She’s- “ He thinks for a second. “She’s scared as fuck. Kara, she’s going crazy at the DEO. She’s blaming herself for- for _everything_. I’ve never seen her like this. She’s your sister, Kara. She _cares about you_. No matter who you’re dating and no matter if you put on that suit or not. “

 

Kara looks at the ground, closing her eyes. “It’s true, “ Mon-El says, taking a step forward. “Alex has been pretty mean lately- “

 

“ _Not_ … helping. “ Winn shoots, looking back over his shoulder at Mon-El. “This is what you’re going to do, Kara. First of all you’re going to talk to Alex about _all_ of this. Second- you’re going to think long and hard about if being Supergirl is making you happy more than it’s making you sad. Third- talk to Lena. Tell her you’re Supergirl if you feel like it, but most of all tell her what you feel about her. “

 

“And fourth- “ Mon-El adds. “Share your ice-cream with me. “

 

 

“Alex? “ Kara calls as she turns a corner in the DEO office. She’s wearing her Supergirl suit and her hair is hanging in loose curls around her face, one side behind her ear. “Alex? “ She calls again and within seconds Alex comes out from a room, holding a file in her hands, her eyes skimming the page as she puts it down on a desk.

 

“Kara- “ She says once she looks at her. Her arms cross quickly and she blinks away the wetness in her eyes. “What are you- “

 

“I’msosorryforeverythingIdon’tevenknowwhat’swrongwithmeandIjust- “

 

“Kara, breathe! “ Alex says and there’s a slight smile forming at the corner of her mouth.

 

Kara does as she told and takes a deep breath in and out, her shoulders following her actions. “I’m sorry for being… Not here at the moment. I’ve just- you know- had some things that I need to talk to you about. “

 

So Kara tells her sister everything that’s been going through her head, everything with being Supergirl, missing her home and, yes, even Lena. When she’s done she turns back at Alex and bites her bottom lip nervously.

 

“So? “ She says and she doesn’t even get to blink before Alex’s arms are around her, holding her tight.

 

“I’ve been an idiot, “ Alex says, whispers. “I judged Lena based on her name and I shouldn’t have done that, I’m sorry. She sounds really great and if you’re happy with her- go get the girl, “ She says the last bit with a smirk – those were the words Kara said to her when she first started liking Maggie.

 

“But she hates Supergirl and that means she hates a part of me- “

 

“Supergirl is only a part of you if you want her to be, “ Alex says, shaking her head.

 

“But _I’m_ still an alien, “ Kara says. Her voice is shaking slightly and she doesn’t understand why she can’t get through a conversation like this without feeling the urge to cry. “She hates me, “ Kara whispers.

 

“Of course she doesn’t! It sounds like she hates what her brother has become and everything he has done, and because it’s the easiest thing to blame someone you don’t know and someone you’ll most likely never meet… That’s what she did. You never did anything wrong, Kara. “

 

Alex takes Kara’s hands and holds them tight for a moment before pulling her in to another hug. “You’re the best person in the world and all you’ve done is made this world better and brighter. “

 

 

Kara walks with wary steps into Lena’s office. This time she’s dressed in a short, loose dress and her hair is put up in a ponytail with a little bow on the elastic and she’s got on her glasses. “Lena? “ She calls, knocking a few times on the door before stepping in fully.

 

“Yes? “ Lena calls. Her head is buried in papers and she hasn’t looked up once. Kara takes a second to take in the scenery, Lena sitting behind a desk with piles of papers in front of her. Kara can see Lena’s taken off her heels behind the back of her desk and it makes Kara smile.

 

“What is it- “ Lena asks, stopping when she sees Kara.

 

“Surprise, “ Kara giggles, waving her hands excitedly.

 

“What are you doing here? “ Lena asks, a big smile now covering the stress and worries from before.

 

“I felt like I needed to see you, “ Kara says.

 

“What a nice surprise, “ Lena says, tilting her head slightly. The evening sun is slowly dimming the light in the office. Lena shows Kara to a white couch by the opposite wall from her desk. They sit down and Kara feels like Lena’s too far away, so she shuffles her way closer to her.

 

Lena leans her side against the back of the couch, resting her arm on the top of it, her legs folded beneath her. She’s wearing a dark green blouse tucked into a pair of loose trousers in black, her white doctor coat is hanging over the back of her desk chair.

 

“Hopefully I didn’t scare you away with my story, “ Lena says and the way her eyes flicker from Kara and to the room shows her hidden nerves.

 

“Never, “ Kara says and her smile grows for a second before fading. Lena notices instantly and places her hand on Kara’s.

 

“What’s wrong? “ She asks gently.

 

Kara takes a deep breath, trying to remember the small speech she prepared before she got there. “I like you, “ She says quickly and Lena’s smile grows. “I think you’re great and nice and pretty and I think it’s incredible that you haven’t grown tired of me yet- “ Kara laughs for a second. “I like you a lot and that’s kind of scary because, even though Alex told me not to mention this, I’ve never had a girlfriend- or a boyfriend, really- and I’m terrified I mess this up because that would be awful and sometimes I do awful things and- “

 

“Kara, “ Lena says and Kara adjusts her glasses because between every word she swings her arms wider and crazier and if Lena hadn’t taken her hand it would’ve gotten out of control.

 

Kara continues, this time a lot calmer. “It hurts, somehow, to think about what you’ve been through, but it makes my feelings stronger because I have this- this _need_ inside of me and it’s weird, I know, and it’s scary, I get it. But I just _need_ - _want_ to make you happy and I _want_ to give you all of the things that you deserve because you’ve done _nothing wrong_ and- “

 

Kara stops when she notices how tears are falling down Lena’s cheeks and how her lips are slightly parted and how her nose is turning pink along with her cheeks.

 

“ _Shit_ , “ Kara whispers. “I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to- “

 

“ _Don’t_ , “ Lena whispers before leaning in over Kara, kissing her deeply until her tears stop falling and she feels how she needs to take a second or two to catch her breath. Kara’s hands are all over the place for the first minute, but then she seems to understand what’s happening and now she gets it.

 

She lets her hands slide to the bottom of Lena’s shirt and gently she curls her fingers underneath it to follow the curves of Lena’s body. They’re almost lying down on the couch now. The only thing leaving Kara’s head from touching the couch is the fact that Lena’s face is just far away enough for Kara to not be able to reach it if she’s all the way down.

 

But then Lena’s phone rings and someone knocks on the door and Lena can’t help but giggle at the way Kara sighs loudly. “Work, “ Lena says and gets up. She smooths the front of her shirt down and then fixes her hair.

 

“I’ll call you later, “ She says and opens a different door in her office than the one Kara came in through.

 

Kara needs to stop when she gets out in the hallway to catch her breath and stop her heart from beating its way through her chest. Kara often feels like an exited, little child but she’s never been as exited as she is right now for Lena to call her.


	10. Chapter 10

The next couple of weeks go by quickly. Kara’s been dealing with smaller things around town, helping the police with catching bad guys that are actually aliens. She’s helped her sister with work too, sorting out different documents she’s been meaning to do for a while now.

 

But most of her time is spend with Lena. She walks with her back and forth from the hospital and for the most part Lena sleeps at Kara’s apartment. The sun is slowly starting to fill the days with more and more warmth and it makes Kara happy, she’s always been the summer-type.

 

“Hello? “ Kara smiles into her phone, it’s Hank.

 

“I wouldn’t ask you if it wasn’t necessary, Supergirl. But there’re mysterious creatures sneaking around in a warehouse at the edge of town. So far the police have found five dead guards. They need your help, “ He says.

 

“I’ll be there in five minutes, “ Kara says and jumps out of bed.

 

“Are you leaving? “ Lena asks, her voice tired and her eyes droopy. She’s wearing one of Kara’s shirts and nothing else.

 

“Uh, “ Kara mumbles, her eyes fixed on Lena’s body. “Yup. “ She giggles for a second before grabbing the box her Supergirl suit is in, a loose dress and a long coat and runs to the bathroom to change.

 

When she comes out Lena’s sitting on the edge of the bed, Kara’s blanket wrapped around her shoulders. Her hair is messy and the bun she had made so nicely is falling apart. “Where are you going? “ Lena asks with a yawn. It’s almost midnight.

 

“Just- “ Kara thinks for a second. “Alex’s got some problem at work and she needs my help, “ She lies.

 

“When will you be home? “ Lena says, yawning again and Kara knows that even if she were to get home in a minute or two, Lena would be fast asleep.

 

“I don’t know, “ Kara mumbles as she grabs her tiny earpiece from her bathroom. “An hour, maybe. Depends on- “ She stops. “Depends on how big of an issue she’s having. “

 

“Mhm, okay. “ Lena leans back down on the bed, curling up underneath the blanket. Kara wants to stay and hold her or just look at her because Lena’s face is puffy and warm from sleep and feet are just sticking out at the end of the blanket and Kara feels something powerful fill her up from within.

 

“I love you, “ Kara whispers so softly and quietly that no one would be able to hear her, Lena wouldn’t have even if she was awake.

 

 

Kara lands just outside of, what used to be, the entrance to the warehouse. The doors have been ripped off and big holes are made in the metal walls, the edges burnt. She walks inside, looking around in the dark.

 

Hundreds of rows of metal shelves are lined all the way down the warehouse, making it look like something from a Die Hard movie. Boxes are piled on the shelves in a million different sizes.

 

Kara follows one of them, looking through the shelves with her super-vision to see if anything moves and suddenly something does. She looks to her right and there she sees it. The familiar kind of alien who attacked the hospital just over a month ago.

 

Its long arms are holding weapons Kara’s never seen before. Its head is small and placed awkwardly on top of its chest and shoulders. The mouth is big and round and sharp teeth are lining it.

 

Kara takes a deep breath before holding onto the shelving unit she’s hiding behind. She exhales and pushes it forward, ripping it off of its hinges at the floor. The unit falls, along with the boxes, on top of the alien with a loud noise, a scream and then the room fills with footsteps and screeches.

 

“Kara? I told you to be quiet! “ Alex hisses from the earpiece.

 

“I am! “ Kara hisses back. Suddenly something warm and sharp hits her stomach and she looks down to see a tiny, thin blade stuck in her. She pulls it out quickly, glad to see it’s less than an inch long.

 

When she looks up one of the aliens are running at her in full speed, the mouth open and eyes wild and bright, like white fire. Kara flies up but the alien grabs her foot and pulls her down to the ground, causing the floor to crack beneath her.

 

Kara feels how the air gets pushed out of her and for a second she feels the panic. Then she looks up and quickly rolls to one side, avoiding the spikey fist flying towards her body.

 

She gets up, releases the power of her heat-vision towards the alien and it falls backwards with a screech. Kara stops, still holding the small blade it threw at her and digs it in where its throat is supposed to be.

 

“Kara? “ Alex calls again. Kara can hear her typing away on her desk at the DEO.

 

“I’m fine, “ Kara grunts.

 

“Try to make at least one of them stay alive, “ Alex says with a sigh.

 

“They don’t deserve to- “

 

“I know- but try, Kara. “

 

Kara walks down the long room, following the wall this time after having made a left. It’s dark and cold and quiet. The only sounds coming from Kara’s heels.

 

She opens a door, it’s heavy and the cut in her stomach, though small, hurts. She breathes through the sharp pain and continues walking down a hallway. The door closes behind her with a bang and the light turns on.

 

It’s sharp and takes a second for her to get used to. She turns around but she’s alone, as far as she can tell anyway.

 

“Hello? “ She calls and she can hear Alex sigh in her ear. “I’m trying! “ Kara hisses at Alex.

 

“Shit, “ Alex says in her ear. “Kara, get out of there! “ She yells and Kara grunts from the loud sound. “Kara! Get out! “

 

“What? What’s happening- “ But the door gets ripped off the end of the hallway and Kara sees an alien, just like the others but bigger and- well, angrier. She instantly uses her heat vision against it and it screams wildly, taking a step back before running at her with full speed.

 

 

_“I told you not to get me anything! “ Lena smiles, but as she rips off the wrapping on the small box with her name on it, Kara knows Lena loves presents and surprises. She opens the box slowly and Kara’s hands are shaking from excitement, her eyes fixed on Lena to see her reaction._

_“Oh, my- “ Lena gasps, looking at the necklace in the box. It’s a dark silvery color and at the middle of the chain is small pendant. On one side there’s an ‘L’ and on the other is a ‘K’._

_“Kara, “ Lena whispers as she takes out the necklace. “This is- “_

_“The best present ever? Oh, Lena, you’re just too kind. “ Kara smiles and they both break into a fit of giggles._

_“It’s- it’s amazing, “ Lena says and tears are forming in her eyes. Kara’s already lost count of how many times Lena has broken into happy cries from the things Kara’s done or said. “I only got a promotion, Kara. It’s really not that- “_

_“Shh! “ Kara laughs. “I wanted to give it to you anyway and this just gave me a reason for it. “_

_“Thank you, “ Lena says. “You’re perfect. “_

 

“She’s waking up! “

 

“Shit. “

 

“Hey! Alex! She’s waking up, look! “

 

“We know, Winn. We can see it! “

 

“Jeez, relax, Alex. Look, she’s fine! “

 

“Winn. “

 

Kara instantly feels the tubes connected to her. She feels the needle in her hand, which is also connected to a tube. She feels the tube going from her nostrils and to a machine. And now that she’s trying to move, she feels the cut in her stomach, the pain from her arms and legs and the way her head is heavy but numb at the same time.

 

“Don’t move, “ Alex says and her voice is wobbly and Kara knows she’s been crying.

 

“Yeah, “ Kara grunts and leans back down on the bed. She’s in the DEO in one of the medical rooms. “What- what happened? “

 

“You don’t remember? “ Alex asks. She’s put her hand on Kara’s and is holding it tight. “You- “ She tries but shakes her head.

 

“Uh, “ Mon-El says, taking over. “You were in the warehouse, remember? “ Kara nods. “And, uh, you were fighting the aliens and suddenly- “ He stops and thinks for a second. “Suddenly the computers got a message of kryptonite being in the warehouse. But it was too late, “ He says.

 

“I tried to warn you, “ Alex mumbles.

 

“The alien who knocked you out, “ Mon-El continues. “It, uh, it was _on_ kryptonite. “

 

“What- like a drug? “ Kara asks, shaking her head.

 

“We don’t know. But- Look, Kara, when you lost your ability to heal and all of that- these are the same things just different creatures. We don’t- we don’t know how or why or who’s doing it, but- “

 

“Did you loose your powers? “ Alex asks a little too loud and too harsh. Kara swallows thickly and turns her head to the door. She closes her eyes for a second, emptying her head, and opens them again.

 

She focuses on the door and within a second she’s seeing the outlines of everything behind it, with it still being shut.

 

“No, I didn’t, “ Kara says, relieved.

 

“Okay, good- that’s good. “ Mon-El smiles.

 

“You almost died, “ Alex says. “We sent you- “

 

“Stop! “ Kara yells. “No one sent me out there but me. I left and it happened and I’m fine. I don’t want to hear it, Alex. I don’t want you to feel guilty- because you didn’t do anything. Just- “ Kara takes a deep breath for a second.

 

“How long was I out? “ Kara asks. They all go quiet, looking at one another before Winn opens his mouth slowly.

 

He mumbles something quietly and Kara leans forward to hear him properly. “Maybejustlikealittleweekorsomething, “ He says quickly, all in one word.

 

“A week!? “ Kara yells. She tries to sit up but she falls back down again. “Lena- “

 

“I called her, “ Alex says. “I told her that I’d taken you out for a sister-trip and that you’ll be home soon. “

 

“Thank you, “ Kara whispers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> holy shit thank you for 9000 hits, that's kinda cool


	11. Chapter 11

It’s been a week since Kara woke up from the attack. She’s back in her apartment, she’s healing. She’s bruised and most of her body is covered in marks and cuts. Her head hurts and she feels like her body is weighing three times as much as it normally does.

 

She split her lip multiple places, has a bad cut above her eyebrow, a black eye and her cheekbone is bruised. All of that is nothing compared to the rest of her body.

 

But she can walk around and Alex, Winn and Mon-El are all looking after her one at a time. Winn’s sitting next to her on the couch, yelling at the TV about the show they’re watching and how all of his favorite characters are getting killed off.

 

Suddenly someone’s knocks on the front door and it takes him a moment to remember that Kara can’t really just jump up and get it. “Sorry, “ He says as he runs past her to open. “Lena! “ He says excitedly and lets her in without thinking more of it.

 

Kara’s been on the phone with her a lot. She told her she got home yesterday and that she’s just needed some time to get back to normal after the ‘trip’. Kara sits up in the couch and wraps her massive cardigan around her a little tighter. She’s wearing a loose t-shirt and a pair of old shorts.

 

“Hello, “ Lena says, happily. She’s met Winn a few times over the course of the last couple of months. “I’m here to see- “ She stops when her eyes land on Kara. Her smile drops and she lets out a shaky breath. “ _Kara_ , “ She whispers.

 

She drops her purse on the floor by the door and almost runs to Kara, making sure not to touch her. “What happened? How- what did- Kara, I- “ She mumbles. Her eyes are wide and she looks terrified, as if Kara could just break and fall apart at any second.

 

“The trip had a little problem at one point, “ Kara says slowly with a smile. Just talking makes her chest hurt.

 

“ _A problem_? “ Lena repeats. “You- you’re- “ But she can’t get her words out.

 

“I think I need to tell you something, “ Kara says and looks towards Winn who’s still standing by the door. She gives him a small nod and he nods back to her.

 

“I’ll give you some space, “ He says before walking out, closing the door behind him.

 

The girls sit down on Kara’s bed and Lena’s come as far as to gently touch Kara’s hand. “ _What happened_? “ She asks.

 

“I- I- Look, “ Kara says. “I never went on a trip with Alex, she just told you that because she couldn’t tell you the truth. “

 

“What- “

 

“Just let me tell you this and don’t say or do anything because then I won’t be able to do this, okay? “ Kara asks and Lena nods slowly.

 

“I’ve been home for the past two weeks- or, well, just a few days, really. I’ve been at this other place called The DEO. It’s… It’s an organization that my sister works at- and I also, kind of, work there, too. Sometimes. “

 

“The DEO is a place where we, I guess, capture dangerous aliens to keep them safe from humans. And the reason why I work there is because I help them capture the aliens. “

 

“You- “

 

“Please, “ Kara says, stopping Lena from talking. “Just listen. “ Kara takes a deep breath. “Lena, I’m… I’m Supergirl, “ She says. Her voice is quivering with every word and she feels the relief on her chest and shoulders.

 

Lena leans back a little, her mouth drops opens and her eyes are staring into nothing. “Please, say something, “ Kara whispers. But Lena’s eyes are empty except for the tears that are falling down her cheeks. “Don’t cry. “

 

“I- I- “ Lena tries, shaking her head slightly. “You’re- you’re S- Supergirl? “ She repeats, looking up at Kara.

 

“Yes, “ Kara answers.

 

“You’re Supergirl? You- you fight- you fight aliens? You- Oh, my- you _are_ an alien, “ She whispers.

 

“I know. I’m- I’ve wanted to tell you this for so long now and now you know and it- it feels amazing! “ Kara smiles. “I feel like- like I can _breathe_ again. “

 

“What- you- “ Lena shakes her head and gets up from the bed quickly. She stands with one hand out in front of herself. Her eyes are going all around the room, mind racing and heart pumping.

 

“Lena, “ Kara says and tries to reach out for her but her shoulder hurts too much. “What’s wrong? “ Kara asks, thinking about what might upset her this much. “The things you told me about your brother- I didn’t do anything to him, “ Kara says but Lena shakes her head and takes a step back.

 

“That’s not- “ Lena breathes in deeply. “I- you’re Supergirl, “ She says, closing her eyes for a second. “You’re Supergirl, “ She whispers. “My- my girlfriend is Supergirl- my- oh my god, my girlfriend can _fly_? “ She looks back down at Kara who’s nodding slowly.

 

“But not right now, “ Kara says. “I’m not in the best state. “ She laughs, but Lena’s worried look makes her smile fade.

 

“You- you got hurt. The night you left! You left to- to _fight someone_! “ Lena yells. “And- those times, when we first met, the cuts and bruises they were all from fights? That’s why you lied to me about them- I thought- I just though you were a part of some stupid fight-club. “

 

Kara laughs for a second but her chest and stomach hurts too much. Lena sits back down again, taking Kara’s hand gently. “What if you hadn’t come back? What if you- what would I’ve been told happened to you, then? “

 

“Don’t think like that- “

 

“I’m a doctor, Kara. I _have_ to think like that. “ Lena’s tone changes suddenly and she lets go of Kara’s hand. Her face turns pink and her cheeks redder. “You’ve been risking your life this entire time- all the time we’ve been together- you’ve been Supergirl, saving people and getting beaten up- “

 

“Not _that_ beaten up- “

 

“Kara! “ Lena yells and gets up again. She walks to the end of the bed and stops by the couch. “Look at yourself! You’ve got cuts all over you, you’re blue and yellow and from the way you’re breathing you’ve got a broken rib, “ Lena says.

 

“ _That’s_ what you’re worried about? That I just got a little bruised? Not the fact that I’m an alien from outer space and than I can fly and shoot lasers out of my eyeballs and throw a car into the sky with one hand? You’re worried because- “

 

“Because I care about you and you’re being an idiot! “ Lena says. “I can’t believe you- you… _You’ve let me fall in love with you_! All while you’ve been fighting aliens and criminals behind my back and- Kara, if you had _died_ I wouldn’t have known _how_! I would’ve just… “ She shakes her head and takes a step back.

 

“You’re- you- _you’re in love with me_? “ Kara repeats and a smile appears on her lips. It’s small and Lena can tell Kara’s trying to hide it because this doesn’t seem like the time to just burst into a big, goofy smile.

 

“I mean- “ Lena stutters.

 

“You _love_ me? “ Kara repeats. “Lena loves me. “

 

“ _No_ , “ Lena says, shaking her head as she crosses her arms. “I just- “

 

“ _Lena Luthor loves me_! “ Kara shrieks and claps, but stops quickly when her arms hurt. “Lena Luthor is in love with me, “ She whispers into her folded hands.

 

“Kara, that’s not the important- “

 

“ _Ooh_ , but it _is_! “ Kara giggles. “You _loooove_ me, “ Kara mocks.

 

“If you weren’t already a mess I would beat you up, “ Lena says and she can no longer hide her smile. “I love you, “ She says.

 

“Oh, _I know_. “ Kara laughs. “You’re pretty great, too. “

 

Lena rolls her eyes as she takes a step towards the bed. “You should get to a real hospital. I’m sure the DOE isn’t taking good care of you from what I can tell, “ Lena says.

 

“DEO, “ Kara corrects. “It’s called the DEO. “

 

“Whatever, “ Lena laughs.

 

 

It’s dark outside now and they haven’t left the bed since the whole Lena-loves-Kara thing happened. Lena’s been asking Kara questions about _everything_ and Kara feels like it was the right thing to do. She feared Lena would hate her, but she ended up finding out she loves her.

 

“So Superman’s your cousin? “ Lena asks. She’s lying on Kara’s chest, Kara’s arm wrapped around her, playing with her hair.

 

“Yeah, “ Kara mumbles, feeling how the suspense of today and the pain she’s in is making her tired. She doesn’t want to tell Lena’s she’s actually lying on one of Kara’s wounds because she’s looking too damn happy right now.

 

“Why did it take you so long to tell me? “ Lena asks, sitting up a bit to face Kara.

 

“I’ve been close to tell you many times, but- but then you told me about your brother and, to be honest, I was scared you might hate me- “

 

“ _Hate you_? “ Lena repeats, her eyes going even softer and her smile turning into a frown. “I would never hate you, “ She whispers.

 

“But you told me you- that you thought Supergirl made your brother go… Crazy? “

 

“I did, “ Lena says. “But knowing what a wonderful person Supergirl is- “ She smiles. “I know that she could never do that to him and that, even though I don’t like to admit it, maybe it was mother who… “ She shakes her head and shuts her eyes.

 

“We don’t have to talk about it right now, “ Kara says and puts her hand on Lena’s thigh gently.

 

“Thank you. “ Lena smiles.


	12. Chapter 12

After spending a month in her apartment, Kara’s finally back at the DEO in her Supergirl suit. The sun is shining through the big, open windows and the feeling of summer is spreading amongst the people in the office.

 

“So what do you think we should do? “ Winn asks, tapping his pen against his desk. “Kara? “

 

“Huh? “ Kara shakes her head and locks her phone.

 

“Stop with the texting, please! “ He grunts. “This is serious, Kara. These… _Things_ \- they almost killed you. “

 

“I know, Winn. “ Kara jumps down from Winn’s desk, placing her phone on it. “I think we should- “ She thinks for a second. “We should just keep on doing tests on the aliens you captured in the warehouse. If they really made kryptonite into a drug we need to know how. “

 

“Have you told your cousin about it yet? “ Winn asks.

 

“No, I- “

 

“I did, “ Alex says as she walks up to them, hands on her hips and her short hair behind her ears. “He’s on his way. “

 

“ _What_? “ Winn jumps up from his desk, almost falling over his chair. “S- Superman’s coming? Like now? Like right here? Like soon? Like- “ Alex puts her hand up and closes her eyes.

 

“I feel like I’m getting dumber with every word you say, “ She says and sighs. “He’ll be here in a few hours, I think. He wants to know everything. He said he’s never heard about anything like this before and he’s scared what it might mean. “

 

“But- “ Kara stops talking and looks down at the floor.

 

“ _What_? “ Alex asks, rolling her eyes.

 

“I’m supposed to meet Lena when her shift is done, “ Kara says with a small voice. Alex sighs loudly, but she’s smiling.

 

“Go get her, then. I’ll talk to Kal-El until you get here. “ Alex grins.

 

 

“I have a bit of a surprise for you, “ Kara says once they’re outside the hospital. She tightens her grip around Lena’s hand in excitement, but Lena grunts and Kara lets go, apologizing.

 

“If you don’t break my hand, “ Lena says. “Then I’m exited. “

 

“It’s actually a person, “ Kara says and giggles. “Someone I’d like for you to meet! “ She jumps on the spot and people stare for a second before they continue walking. “It’s- drumroll please – my cousin! “ She half-yells.

 

“You’re- you’re cousin? S-Superman? “ Lena stops on the spot and her eyes go blank.

 

“Yes? Isn’t it cool? I haven’t seen him in _so long_. God, I miss him so much! Why are you stopping? “ Kara asks, only a few step ahead of Lena.

 

“Superman, “ Lena whispers. “You want me to meet the guy my brother has been trying to kill multiple times. The guy who hates my brother because of everything he has done and the guy who will hate me because of my last name. “

 

“He won’t hate you, Lena. “ Kara takes her hand, worried. “He’ll understand that you’re your own person and the things Lex did… They don’t matter. “

 

“Sure? “ Lena lifts her chin slightly to meet Kara’s smile.

 

“Positive! “ Kara beams.

 

 

“How do I look? “ Winn asks and Mon-El rolls his eyes.

 

“If you like him so much just date him, “ Mon-El whispers under his breath. He’s only met Superman a couple of times since coming to Earth and every time he gets green with jealousy from the way Winn acts around Superman.

 

“Would you let me? “ Winn asks, mocking Mon-El.

 

“He’ll be here soon, “ Alex says.

 

“He should not be texting and flying, “ Mon-El says, raisin an eyebrow. “Very irresponsible. Bad example for the kids and all that. “

 

“You have something on your face, Mon-El, “ Alex says and points at her own cheek. “Oh- it’s- it’s jealousy, damn. “ She laughs and so does Winn. But only for a second because then Winn takes a deep breath in and taps Mon-El on the shoulder a million times to make sure he’s seeing Superman, who just flew in through the open window and landed right in front of them.

 

“Oh my- oh. My. God. “ Winn’s hyperventilating and he’s taking small steps towards Kal-El. “It’s- you’re- hey. “

 

“Hello, Winn, “ Kal-El says, his voice is deep and his smile is wide. He shakes Winn’s hand and pulls him in for a short hug, doing the same to Alex right after. “I’m- “

 

“I know who you are, “ Mon-El snaps and turns around and walks back to his desk at the other end of the office.

 

“Did I do something wrong? “ Kal-El asks, but Alex just shakes her head with a smile. “Where’s my favorite Danvers, then? “ Kal-El says and pretends to be hurt when Alex punches him.

 

“She’s out, “ Alex says.

 

“Did you get a new cape? I’m sure your old one was a little lighter in the color, and longer, actually, “ Winn asks and grabs Kal-El’s cape to check the fabric.

 

“I- I did, “ Kal-El says and laughs shortly, raising an eyebrow to Alex who just hides her laugh.

 

“Winn, “ Alex says once he’s let go of Kal-El’s cape. “You’re, uh- you’re drooling. “

 

“Screw you, stupid-Danvers. “

 

“Ah! Kara! “ Kal-El suddenly says and turns around. And just a couple of second later Kara comes flying in through the open window, carrying Lena. She puts her down gently and Lena’s eyes are wide from fear and her hair is bigger than usual. She ties it up in a ponytail and straightens out her dress.

 

“Kal-El! “ Kara squeaks and runs down the stairs into his arms. He hugs her tight and she pads his back a few times to let him know she can’t breathe. Kal-El puts her down with a husky laugh.

 

“You’re getting old, “ He says.

 

“Hey! Getting your powers drained is _not_ getting old. “ Kara crosses her arms and pouts.

 

“I’m glad you’re okay, “ He says and pulls her in for another hug. The sound of slow steps appears from the stairs and Lena’s carefully walking down in her heels. “Who’s that? “ Kal-El asks, taking a step back in caution.

 

“That’s- “ Kara says as she walks over to Lena, taking her hand and leading her back to Kal-El. “My girlfriend. “ She beams.

 

“Who knows everything about… _This_? “ He smiles, awkwardly.

 

“Yes. Of course, “ Kara smiles. Lena takes her hand out in front of her and after a second, Kal-El shakes it happily.

 

“I’m Kal-El, “ He says and smiles.

 

“Lena Luth- “ She stops and lets go of his hand. Kal-El takes another step back, his smile disappearing.

 

“Luthor? “ He asks, brow furrowing. “As in- “

 

“Lex Luthor’s sister? Yes, “ Lena says and lifts her chin slightly.

 

“Kara- “

 

“Relax, Kal-El. “ Kara smiles, holding Lena’s hand a little tighter. “She’s not like her brother, okay? “

 

“How can you be sure of that? “ Kal-El asks, looking disgusted at Lena like she’s appeared with a horrible stink.

 

“Kal-El! “ Kara says and takes a step forward. “She’s my _girlfriend_. She’s not like her brother, I promise. Don’t- don’t assume that just because of her last name. “

 

“A Luthor has been trying to kill me for years now, Kara. I’m sorry for not trusting another one right away, “ He spits.

 

“I told you this was a bad idea, “ Lena says and is about to turn around when Kara pulls her back.

 

“Don’t go, please. “

 

“Kara- “

 

“No, Lena. He’s- “ Kara turns to him and sends him a warring look. “He’s fine. He just had a bad flight and is in a bad mood. He’ll get over it, over himself. “

 

 

“So what do we know so far? “ Kal-El asks. They’re all standing around a round table in a meeting room at the DEO. Lena’s practically hiding behind Kara, who’s still holding her hand tightly.

 

“The aliens who took some of Kara’s powers did it with the help of kryptonite and the aliens, different ones, who attacked her in the warehouse were _on_ kryptonite like some sort of drug. They had found a way to get it in their system and use it against Kara. It weakened her, “ Winn says.

 

Lena holds Kara’s hand even tighter at the memory of what Kara looked like when she saw her again after two weeks. Kara still has small cuts and little marks, but she’s looking and feeling a lot better.

 

“We don’t know where they got the kryptonite from and how they’re getting it inside of them to make them stronger, “ Winn says. “And we don’t know how to stop it from happening again. Or how they took some of Kara’s powers in the first place and why they didn’t do it the last time. “

 

“That’s a whole bunch of ‘not knowing’, “ Mon-El says and shakes his head.

 

“We used to put little bits of kryptonite in the prisoner’s food back on Krypton, “ Kal-El says. “It made them weak but it didn’t hurt them, not really. It was just to make sure they didn’t get enough power to break free. “

 

“Maybe they’re just eating it? “ Kara asks.

 

“No, “ Winn says, shaking his head. “The aliens from the warehouse had marks around on their arms and stomach from needles and around those areas the concentration of kryptonite was highest. That means that they injected it somehow. They must’ve gotten it to a liquid form. “

 

“Is that possible? “ Alex asks, looking at Kal-El.

 

“I’m afraid so, yeah. But it’s not something you just _do_. Kryptonite is a dangerous and powerful material. It’s not just something you- you inject yourself with. “

 

“Uh- “ Lena says, but shakes her head quickly afterwards.

 

“What? “ Kara asks, turning to face.

 

Lena takes a step forward. “What if it’s like the time Supergirl- _Kara_ – was affected by the red kryptonite? What if this is something like that? A different kind of kryptonite that takes away your powers. “

 

Everyone stops, looking at her and then at Kal-El who’s thinking hard about it. “I don’t know if that’s a possibility, “ He says, looking at Lena.

 

“It could be, “ Winn says. “Mon-El, didn’t you once talk about how your people wanted to do something to kryptonite so that you use against- “

 

“ _Winn_! “ Mon-El hisses. “We didn’t do anything to the kryptonite, promise. We just joked about it sometimes. “ He swallows, feeling the evil glare of Kal-El.

 

“But someone _could_ do it, “ Winn says. “If someone had gotten a hold of kryptonite and did tests on it, just like Maxwell Lord did with the red kryptonite. “

 

“But who would do it? “ Kara asks. Kal-El turns to Lena quickly and Kara can almost feel his heat-vision rising. “ _Not Lena_ , “ Kara says. She lets go of Lena’s hand and walks over to Kal-El. “I thought you’d understand, “ She whispers.

 

“Her brother- “

 

“Did some horrible things, I know. But _she_ didn’t do anything, “ Kara hisses.

 

“But she grew up with him. She learned the same things he did, Kara. What makes you think she’s not just playing with you? “

 

“Because I just _know_. “ Kara shakes her head and walks back to Lena whose face is pink and eyes locked with the floor. “We should go back to the warehouse to see if anything’s there. “

 

“ _You’re_ not going anywhere, “ Alex says. “You almost died the last time. I’m taking the team, okay? “

 

“ _Fine_ , “ Kara says, rolling her eyes. “I’ll take you home, Lena. “ She smiles and grabs Lena’s hand again.

 

“Thank you, “ She whispers.

 

 

“He hates me, “ Lena says, sitting down on the edge of Kara’s bed. “He hates me and I knew it and of course he does! My brother has tried to kill him, his girlfriend and his entire city multiple times. Kara, he’ll never like me or understand this or- “

 

“I don’t care, “ Kara says.

 

“Yes. You do. “

 

“Okay, I do a little bit. _But_ if he won’t understand, then I’ll make him. “ Kara smirks and leans down over Lena, kissing her softly.

 

“Sure you will, “ Lena mocks and Kara pouts before kissing her deeper.


	13. Chapter 13

After a couple of days Alex calls Kara to tell her they didn’t find a thing at the warehouse. Nothing but the fact that everything, the tens of hundreds rows of shelves with the thousand boxes, stacked on top of each other, have all been removed. The entire thing was empty, like nothing had ever been there.

 

“That’s strange, “ Kara says through her phone. “What about the radiation level? Nothing about a new type of kryptonite? “

 

“Nothing, Kara. But Winn’s read some stuff about evolving kryptonite and- “ Alex gets cut off from Winn ripping the phone out of her hand.

 

“Hey Kara, “ He says. “So from what I can read it’s possible to, I don’t know, _change_ kryptonite and the way it works. The normal type of kryptonite only weakens you, but the red kryptonite changed your personality and the way you were thinking, remember? “

 

“I remember, “ Kara says, seeing all of the horrible memories from six months ago.

 

“So basically what Maxwell Lord did that time was he changed the structure of it. If someone were to do that again, in a different way than how Maxwell Lord did it, they could creature types of kryptonite that could do all sorts of things. “

 

Kara takes a minute to understand what Winn’s told her. She’s appreciating the way he tells it to her, not using any fancy words that she wouldn’t be able to understand anyways.

 

“So what do we do? “ Kara asks.

 

“We find out who made the kryptonite that took your powers away, how they did it, how they got a hold of kryptonite and how we get your powers back. “

 

“Can we do all of that? “

 

“Probably not _all_ of that. But we can try, “ He says hopeful and Kara can imagine the way he’s smiling supportively.

 

“Thank you, “ She says and hangs up.

 

“Everything okay? “ Lena asks from the kitchen. She’s cooking them dinner, wearing her pajamas and her hair is up in a loose ponytail. Kara nods quickly and puts her phone down, not wanting to ruin the mood. “Why do you always lie? “ Lena asks with a smirk.

 

“ _Whaaaat_? _Noo_ , I don’t, what, _lie_? You’re being ridiculous! “ Kara shrugs and when Lena laughs she walks over to her, leaning up against the kitchen island as Lena cuts vegetables.

 

“What was the call about? “ Lena asks as she chops through carrots.

 

“Just- work stuff. It doesn’t matter right now, “ Kara says and her hand falls onto Lena’s lower back.

 

“I’m cooking, “ Lena says as her cheeks blush.

 

“I know. “

 

“Don’t disturb the cook. “

 

“Am I disturbing you? “ Kara asks, raising an eyebrow with a smile.

 

Lena stops, puts down the knife and turns to Kara. She takes a step closer to her so Kara’s hand falls lower on Lena’s back. “Yes, “ She whispers as she kisses first the tip of Kara’s nose, then her forehead and then Kara’s lips.

 

“Your food is burning, “ Kara whispers through kisses, but Lena doesn’t register it until the fire alarm start beeping.

 

“Shit! “ She swears as she takes the pan of the stove and places it on the counter next to it. She flips the meat and it looks fine, but the smell is from the burned oil. Kara laughs for a second before giving a small jump, floating in the air for a second as she grabs the fire alarm and turns it off.

 

“Are they going to evacuate the entire building now? “ Lena asks, her face hot and red.

 

“No, I always burn my food. They’re getting used to it. “ Kara laughs as she helps set the table.

 

“I messed it up, “ Lena mutters, forgetting that Kara has super hearing.

 

“You’re doing amazing, “ Kara says and kisses Lena’s neck.

 

 

Kara sits down on her chair and Lena does the same on _her_ chair. The food is on the table, smelling amazing and looking great. “This. Tastes. The best! “ Kara exclaims and waves her fork in the air before continuing eating.

 

Lena laughs as she, too, enjoys the food. “It’s pretty good, “ She says.

 

“ _Pretty good_? No, this is incredible. It’s- it’s _magnifique_! “ She grins and Lena can’t help but to laugh again.

 

“Thank you, “ Lena says.

 

“It’s the bestes food in the world! “ Kara continues as she stuffs her face with the potatoes and vegetables.

 

 

“Anything new? “ Kara asks once she lands inside the office.

 

“Yes! “ Winn says, running to her and back to his desk, doing little skips along the way. “I got tickets to the new robot-fight-show next weekend and Mon-El’s finally given up and let me take him with me! “

 

“That’s… Great, Winn. But I was actually talking about the possible alien-super-monster that’s after my powers- and me. “ Kara laughs.

 

“Oh, “ He says, looking shocked. “Sure, of course. “ He sits down by his desk again, typing in some things on his computer and then he points at something on the screen. “This is kryptonite Gold, aka Gold K. “

 

Kara looks at the animated picture of a gold rock. It’s slightly glowing and little specks of red and green are running through it.

 

“Our theory is that to create this you must have green and red kryptonite and you have to expose it to an extreme amount of radiation. The exact type of radiation found at a certain warehouse that has been shut down about twenty years ago, and was used as a storage space for a company no one knows about. “

 

“So this is what took my powers? “ Kara asks, taking a closer look at the picture.

 

“Yes, “ Winn says and his voice is suddenly sad.

 

“What? What is it? This is great news! All we have to do now is find the bad guys and find out how we can get my powers back. “

 

Winn looks down at his keyboard, obviously trying to find his words. “Kara- “ He begins. “Because of the level of radiation used to create this- uh, “ He says, thinking hard about how to tell her. “Gold K absorbed your powers, but the second your powers got _inside of it_ \- well, they were destroyed. Nothing, except for Red K and Green K, would’ve been able to survive that much radiation. “

 

Kara takes a step back and swallows thickly. “Uhuh, “ She mumbles. “So- so that means that I’ll- “

 

“Never be able to get your powers back, yeah. “ Winn nods.

 

“Okay, “ She whispers. “That’s- that sucks, but… I didn’t even expect it to work, you know. “ She laughs shortly, but it’s stern and fake. “I- I’ll just, you know, I’ll just- I think I’ll just take a round up there. “ She points back to the open window she came through. “Just to, uh, look. “

 

“Kara- “ But before Winn can say anything else, Kara’s gone through the window, leaving a whiff of air behind her and papers flying off the desks.

 

 

Kara feels the way her blood runs through her veins, the way her heart pumps her full of life and the way her head processes every thought going through it. It’s a part of her powers, being able to hear and feel all of those things so intensely. It’s something she hasn’t told anyone she can do, it feels like her own little thing.

 

Now she’s high up in the sky, clouds just above her, the ground small like a photo taken from afar. This is her place without any distractions and without anything on her mind. She normally feels at peace, at home, when she’s up here.

 

But her head is spinning and tears are pressing against her eyes and she can’t breath properly. She didn’t expect her powers to ever come back- well, she kind of did, though. A small part of her had thought that maybe, _maybe_ , if they found out how she lost her powers, then they’d find out how to get them back.

 

It’s not even that she misses them or that she feels like she _needs_ them. It’s that they’re a part of her- the ‘her’ that left Krypton when she was young. They’re a part of what her parents gave her and her powers are a part of her parents.

 

“Kara? “ A soft voice in her ear appears and she jumps from the sudden sound. “Are you okay? “ Alex asks. “Winn told me what he’d found out and- “

 

“I’m okay, “ Kara lies. “I just needed some air. I’ll be back down soon. “

 

“You don’t have to, Kara. We’re going out with the team later to do a search throughout the city to see if we can locate some of the Gold K. It would be nice you were just home or something. I- I know you want to help but it’s too risky. “

 

“I understand, “ Kara says and dives down a little. “I’ll be at home. “

 

“Okay, thank you. “ Alex hangs up, the beep in Kara’s ear tells her that. And so Kara dives down even further until she’s flying between buildings, giving kind smiles to the people that stop and point at her as she flies past them.

 

She flies past her apartment and stops outside the hospital near the entrance. She looks up as the building towers above her. She blinks a couple of times before looking through the many floors until she gets to one of the top floors.

 

“Lena, “ She mutters and stretches her arms out in front of her as she flies upwards. She knocks on the window a couple of times until Lena turns around. Her concentrated face turns into a smile and a giggle as she opens the door to the balcony.

 

“You’ve been doing that too much, _Supergirl_. “ Lena laughs as she walks back to her desk, typing in some things on her computer before turning back to Kara. “We don’t want people to get suspicious, do we? “ She raises an eyebrow and folds her hands together.

 

“Of course not, “ Kara answers. Lena’s smile instantly falls and she gets up, walking to Kara and placing a concerning hand on her upper back.

 

“What’s the matter? “ She asks, head tilting to see Kara properly.

 

“Winn found out what took my powers, “ Kara says with a sigh.

 

“Your healing powers, right? “ Lena asks, making sure she’s understanding everything.

 

“Yeah. Apparently someone made a new type of kryptonite. Kryptonite Gold or- “

 

“Gold K, “ Lena finishes her sentence in a whisper.

 

“Yes, how did you know? “ Kara turns around to face.

 

“I- “ Lena stutters as she takes a step back, hand falling from Kara. “I don’t- “

 

“Lena, “ Kara says, reaching out for her but Lena shakes her head and takes another step back. “How did you know? “

 

“My- my mother. She used to talk about something called Gold K and I always thought it was a jewelry brand or something. I didn’t even begin to think that- oh my god- I’m so sorry, Kara. I didn’t know- “

 

“It’s okay, “ Kara says and smiles. “Did she tell you anything else about it? “

 

“No, no- she just- she just sometimes hummed the words Gold K over and over again as she’d take care of Lex, it never made sense to me. Kara- Kara, if she _did_ that to you- I’m- “ Lena grids her teeth and locks her jaw. She clenches her fists, supporting herself against her table.

 

“You never did anything wrong, Lena. It’s- if your mother did this we have to speak with her. Do you know where she is? “ Kara asks. She takes Lena’s hand and intertwines her fingers through hers to stop her from clenching them.

 

“Of course, “ Lena says, looking back up at Kara. “I’m having dinner with her in a couple of days. “


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for not posting in a while. life is kinda crazy sometimes

“Mother, “ Lena says and stands up, giving Lillian a short nod. They sit down, only a table separating them. “How are you? “ Lena asks and she tries to smile, she really does.

 

“I’m good, “ Lillian says and smiles shortly. Her hands are folded on the table until she reaches out for the menu, looking through it. “Have you ordered? “ She asks, eyes staying on the menu.

 

“No, I- I was waiting for you. “ Lena forces a smile as she takes the other menu and looks through it, too.

 

“How is it being a _doctor_ , “ Lillian asks and waves a waiter over. “Two glasses of white wine and two of today’s special, “ She orders and waves the waiter away with a flick in her wrist.

 

“It’s- it’s good, great, actually. I just got promoted a month ago, “ Lena says and straightens her back a little.

 

“Well done, “ Lillian says and they cheer once their drinks have come. “Have you been speaking to Lex lately? “

 

Lena puts down her glass after sipping a bit of the bitter wine. “No, “ She answers shortly. “But I don’t want to talk about him- “

 

“You’ve always been so jealous, “ Lillian laughs quickly.

 

Lena sighs and leans back against her chair. “I have always known my place in the family, you’ve made sure for me not to forget that, mother. But now I want to talk about something else than family. I want to talk about what you’ve been up to. “

 

“What are you implying? “ Lillian raises an eyebrow.

 

“You’ve been quiet for far too long now and I want to know what you’re… _Cooking_ , “ Lena says and leans forward, resting her elbows on the edge of the table.

 

“You’re being ridiculous, Lena. What- have you grown bored of this life you’re living? Did you hope being a doctor would fill the space of being a Luthor? “ She snaps.

 

“You can’t hurt me, mother. You’ve called me every nickname, every horrible insult there is. It’s getting old, you know? “ Lena smirks shortly. “Now, please tell me what you’re trying to do with Gold K. “

 

She enjoys the way her mother’s smile disappears and a surprised look runs through her face. “What do you know about Gold K? “

 

“Not much, if I’m being honest. All I know is that _you’re_ the reason Supergirl has lost some of her powers- “

 

“Supergirl? “ Lillian repeats, sitting up straighter to regain the confidence she lost.

 

“Don’t play dumb with me, mother. I am too tired and too hungry for this. Just tell me how and why you’re doing it. “

 

“Why should I tell you? So that you can run off and tell the police about it and- “

 

“I want to help, “ Lena says, firmly. “I want to come back to the family. “ She sighs shortly and her eyes fall to the table between them. “I don’t want this life, you- you were right. I hate this, I hate how boring it is and I hate how I have to force myself to like it. “

 

“Really? “ Lillian asks and smiles.

 

“Really, mother. Supergirl is saving people, yes. But all she’s doing is getting them out of the dangerous situations and bringing them to doctors like _me_. She’s doing the police’s job and then getting credit for it, no one’s thinking about what _I’m_ doing once the headline’s written. “ Lena shakes her head, hating where all of these thoughts are coming from.

 

“And you’ve just suddenly realized this? “ Lillian asks.

 

“When I got the promotion they told me it was because of my work after the hospital got attacked and I thanked them until- until I realized that I didn’t do anything at the hospital after the attack. I went home and tried to recover myself. They gave me the promotion because aliens attacked the hospital and they knew _I_ am a Luthor and _I_ \- _we_ are the only ones who can stop those aliens. “

 

Her head hurts from her words and she hates the truth there is in them. “So you want to come back and help us kill all aliens on Earth? “ Lillian asks. A waiter comes over and places their food in front of them, it’s a soup of some sort with little vegetable purées around it on the edge of the plate.

 

“I do, “ Lena says, whispers.

 

“How can I trust you? You sold the entire company, moved away and started a new life the last time we tried to involve you in this. What makes you trustworthy this time? “

 

Lena thinks for a second about the question. “I miss my family, “ She whispers, a couple of tears stinging her eyes. She takes her clean napkin and gently pads underneath her eyes. Her mother takes her hand slowly, it’s cold.

 

“We miss you, too, “ She whispers.

 

 

“So how did it go? “ Kara asks once they’ve settled in Kara’s apartment.

 

“Don’t pretend like the DEO didn’t have microphones and cameras all over the restaurant, “ Lena says smugly as she takes off her heels and throws them next to the couch. Kara rolls her eyes and blushes. “It went fine. “

 

“The things you said- “

 

“I made them up, “ Lena says firmly.

 

“Sure? Because they sounded like something that could be true and I don’t want you to feel that way, I mean, if you miss your family- that makes sense, of course, but the things about me, about Supergirl, I don’t- “

 

Lena kisses her and grins against her lips. “I made them up, “ Lena says, but she still hasn’t convinced Kara, she can tell.

 

“They must’ve come from somewhere, “ Kara mutters. “Was it true that the promotion only happened because of the attack? Because your bosses wanted you to do something about the aliens? “ Kara asks.

 

Lena hesitates for a second. “They hinted at it, but! They also said that I deserved it, so everything’s okay. I just told them that it was a job for Supergirl and that I didn’t want to have anything to do with it. “ Lena smiles. “Let’s not talk about this anymore. “

 

“But- “

 

“No. “

 

“Lena- “

 

“Kara, no. “

 

“Lena! “ Kara giggles as Lena throws herself over Kara, kissing her in the crease of her neck as Kara laughs from the way it tickles her. She wraps her legs around Lena’s waist and pulls her tight into a warm hug, holding her own hand to keep Lena close. “I don’t ever want you to feel like that, “ Kara whispers into Lena’s ear.

 

“I won’t, “ Lena whispers back and her heart aches and she doesn’t know if it’s from the conversation or from the love she feels for that silly, blonde girl who’s wrapped around her like a little child.

 

 

“Kara! “ Kal-El smiles and claps his hands together. “How are you feeling? “

 

“I’m great, thank you! “ Kara grins and confusion spreads on his face. “What? Why? What’s happened? “

 

“Nothing, nothing. I just thought you might’ve been a bit more upset about everything with Lena Luthor? “

 

“What about her? “ Kara asks, concerned. She’s about to pull out her phone and fly right back through that window she just came in through when Kal-El speaks again.

 

“The things she said to her mother, to Lillian Luthor, last night? I just thought you would’ve been hurt from it. But I guess she didn’t mean that much- “

 

“Kal-El! “ Kara stomps the ground and the tile beneath her foot cracks. “Not again! “ She mutters in a low whisper, looking around to make sure Hank didn’t see it. “Look, Kal-El, what Lena said was all made up, okay? She said those things to make her mother trust her and now she does, which is great! “

 

“Sure? Because they seemed like- “

 

“Kal-El, please! I know Lex Luthor has done horrible, horrible things to you and the people in your life, but… But Lena hasn’t done anything, “ Kara says and puts her phone away. “All of her life she’s had to live with the fact that people didn’t understand her, that she was treated differently for something she has nothing to do with. “

 

Kara takes a step closer to him and gives a soft smile. “You and I- we’ve had to do the same thing. It was _so hard_ growing up here for me. I had learned so many things on Krypton and then, all of a sudden, I had to learn everything on Earth, too. I struggled and I couldn’t do anything about it but just to learn and accept. “

 

“The same goes for Lena, Kal-El. She’s my girlfriend, I know, but she’s also so much more than that. She’s so smart and amazing and funny and I love- I love her. _I love her_. So, please, as the only biological family I have left, understand that she’s struggling with things too and that you’re not helping by being a real mean-person about it. “

 

Kal-El blinks quickly a few times and looks to the ground for a second before looking back at Kara with a small smile. “Okay, “ He says, nodding. “I understand. The next time I see her I will apologize for my behavior. “

 

“Ih! Thank you so much! “ Kara says, jumping and clapping up and down on the spot.


	15. Chapter 15

“So I’m sorry about everything I’ve said and done to you. I’m sorry for judging you based on your brother’s actions. I shouldn’t have done that. Please, _please_ forgive me. “ Kal-El smiles.

 

“Oh, wow, “ Lena mumbles and gives him a quick look up and down. “Thank you- I mean, yeah. That was pretty bad of you, but it’s okay. I’m- I guess I’m used to it by now. Thank you for understanding, “ She says and nods through her words.

 

She can’t help but to smile when she sees Kara from afar, grinning into her phone, obviously listening to their conversation.

 

“Let’s get back to work! “ Alex calls, banging on the door to the meeting room they were in not too long ago. “So we did a round in the city and found some traces of an unknown material- “

 

“Gold K? “ Kara asks, hopeful.

 

“Exactly. We found some at the warehouse after going specifically after it and then some near the hospital, which is probably there because of the attack, “ Alex says. “I’ve talked to Maggie about if there’ve been any suspicious attacks and she says they’ve decreased since the attack on the hospital. So maybe the aliens who did it have to recharge in a way? “

 

“How? “ Lena asks, but her face goes slightly red. Kara likes how she can’t keep herself quiet, how curiosity wins every time.

 

“Well, “ Winn says and sits up a little behind the computer. “If they’re taking kryptonite as a drug, they’ll eventually need a new fix of it. “

 

“But why are they taking green kryptonite if they also have the ability to take _my powers_? “ Kara asks, looking from Winn to Alex.

 

“They use Green K to make you weak and then they use to Gold K to take away your powers. Kara, I know you don’t want to talk about what happened that night- but, please, it might help us find out how they’re- “

 

“I don’t remember anything. I’ve told you everything I know- “ Kara shakes her head and takes a step backwards. “I don’t- Winn, I don’t want to talk about it. “

 

Lena grabs her hand and holds it tight for a second, forcing Kara to stay even though she’s looking for an exit. “It’s okay, “ Lena whispers with a soft smile and Kara eventually calms down as the others keep on talking.

 

 

“I won’t force you to tell me anything about it, “ Lena says. “But I just want to advice you, as your doctor, to tell me what’s going on in your head, because the way you reacted- that, Kara, that was a sign of PTSD- “

 

“I’m okay, “ Kara says and smiles. She pulls her blanket over her shoulders, almost hiding her head beneath it. “It’s just not my favorite topic. “

 

“That makes sense, “ Lena says. She has her doctor-voice back, one that Kara hasn’t heard in a long time. “But just know that I want to help you, as your girlfriend _and_ as a doctor. “

 

Kara turns around, looking up at Lena who’s sitting on the bed, eyes fixed on Kara. “Iloveyou, “ Kara mumbles quickly and Lena smiles, obviously confused.

 

“What? “ She asks, taking Kara’s hand as if she was a hurt child.

 

“I- I love… _You_ , “ Kara says and shuts her eyes. Her heart is pumping through her chest and she can hear the blood run through her veins as she says it over and over again. “I love you. “

 

“I love you, too. “ Lena smiles happily and scoots down next to Kara. It’s dark in the small apartment and Lena can feel her heavy eyes starting to close, the vision of Kara by her side disappearing in her head amongst other wonderful memories.

 

It’s just as she starts to drift away that she Kara clears her throat and turns around. “I was on a mission, “ She begins. “Alex had told me it would be a small thing, just a few guys who stole a car with some important papers in it. So I chased them across the city until they were away from most people. “

 

“I flew down and stopped the car, no problem. Then, suddenly, they turned into these massive, black creatures. Their entire body was like liquid Lego blocks. They kept moving around like crazy, changing their looks to avoid every punch I threw. “

 

“One of them grabbed me and I instantly felt how powerful they were. The other one took something from the back of their car and- and then I just couldn’t breathe or move or think. Everything was hurting- or maybe it wasn’t. I don’t even remember it. “

 

“The DEO found me after a couple of hours and they brought me back to the office. It almost took me two weeks to fully wake up and the second I took my first breath- I- I could just feel it right away. I felt so- so _weak_. “

 

Kara didn’t even realize she was crying until she feels Lena’s hand touching her week cheeks in the dark. “After that everything just changed. I had to learn how to fight without getting hurt- it’s not going very well, “ Kara says and laughs, but she’s crying as well and it all gets mixed together in a sob.

 

“We’ll stop these guys, “ Lena whispers. “I promise. “ She kisses Kara’s forehead and then her lips, once Kara’s turned her face slightly upwards to meet her. “I love you. “

 

Kara nods slowly, finally feeling the sleepiness hit her. “Iloveyou, “ She mumbles as she falls asleep, head resting against Lena’s arm.

 

They fall asleep like that, curled up in each other, completing what the other has started in ways neither of them understand or expect.


	16. Chapter 16

“Any news on your mother, Lena? “ Alex asks. They’re all standing the meeting room again, the doors shut and locked, curtains are drawn and the only source of light is coming from the one lamp hanging above the round table they’re all standing around.

 

“She- “ Lena thinks about her choice of words. “Well, she hasn’t really told me much about the plans that she’s working on at the moment. All she’s telling me are things that she wants to do or things that she has done in the past. I’m trying to push her to tell me, but I need to be careful. She’s a master in pretending to like someone, she’ll see right through me the second I make a mistake. “

 

Kara takes Lena’s hand with a short smile and Lena takes a deep breath to relax again. There’s something about being here, with Alex, Winn, Kal-El and Kara, that makes her so nervous and she doesn’t understand why.

 

“We’ll need something soon, “ Alex says firmly. Lena nods in agreement. “Winn? “ Alex says.

 

“Yeah, okay. “ Winn types some things into his computer and it shoots up on a screen above them all over the middle of the table. “So I looked into what you found in the warehouse and it is Gold K for sure. It’s all over the walls and floor but not in a visible way, if that makes sense. “

 

“It doesn’t, “ Kara says.

 

“It’s kind of like it absorbed into the building. It made you weaker the moment you stepped inside of it, slowly draining you. My guess is that there was such a small amount of it that it didn’t do any permanent damage to you. “

 

“But I didn’t loose my power temporarily either? “

 

“Well, maybe not instantly. But the week you were out, after the attack, you were- uh, you almost died. So I think it drained you in some way, like green kryptonite does. “

 

“I don’t understand- “ Kara mumbles, shaking her head. “Can’t we just find out how Lena’s mother has done this and stop her? “

 

“We need to be sure, Kara. Plus, we don’t even know where she is when she’s not with Lena. “ Alex shakes her head.

 

“I do, “ Lena says. “She’s at her apartment down town. “

 

 

“Are you sure you’re okay with this? “ Kara asks, adjusting Lena’s coat. They’re standing outside Kara’s apartment, the sun happily shining down towards them, warming them though the air is still cold from the winter months.

 

“I am, “ Lena says, smiling from Kara’s gentle touch. “I want to do the right thing. “

 

“Good, because you _are_ doing the right thing, “ Kara whispers, kissing Lena softly. “You should get going. “

 

“Mhm, “ Lena mumbles, keeping Kara close and kissing her again and again until a stern voice appears in her earpiece.

 

“Miss Luthor, _please_. “ The voice belongs to Hank. Kara can hear it from where she’s standing and she giggles shortly at Lena’s hot pink face.

 

Lena clears her throat. “Sorry, “ She says, cringing.

 

 

Inside of her mother’s apartment is like stepping into a house that’s for sale, filled up with clean, white furniture and nothing giving away what type of person lives there. There are a few things on the walls, expensive paintings and photos of people Lena doesn’t recognize.

 

There’s an echo from her heels hitting the floor as she follows her mother inside to the living room.

 

“Do you like it? “ Lillian asks, looking over her shoulder to see Lena who nods slowly. “Of course you don’t. You’ve always been more of a, “ She thinks for a second. “Sentimental person. “

 

“I like it, “ Lena says firmly.

 

“ _You’re doing great_ , “ Kara beams through the earpiece in Lena’s ear.

 

Lillian sits down in a chair opposite Lena, a grey briefcase on the table between them. “The things in this could make your mind explode, “ She says. “So I’ll tell you a few things. “

 

Lena swallows thickly and sits a little straighter. “Please, do. “

 

“I have kryptonite, “ Lillian says.

 

“How? “

 

“Before everything was destroyed, I called some people and, well, now I have more than enough. But what’s even better than that- “ She opens the briefcase slowly and fiddles with a few files for a second. “Is that I’ve found a way to kill Supergirl. “

 

She takes out a file and puts it on the table between them. “Gold kryptonite- or Gold K, as you like to call it, I’m sure- is draining Supergirl from her powers. In the end, when I’m done with her, she’ll have nothing left. She’ll be a normal little girl who once knew how to save this city. “

 

“How will you do it? “ Lena asks, keeping her voice calm and fakes a little smile, matching the one on her mother’s face.

 

“I have my contacts. “

 

“As always. “

 

“I’ve been talking to some aliens in this city- “

 

“I thought you were against all type of alien life? “

 

“Of course, Lena. But sometimes you have to make a deal with the devil to get what you want. I couldn’t just go take Supergirl’s powers myself, “ Lillian says, putting a hand on her chest. “That would mean exposing me if everything went wrong. No, I had to get someone else to do it, someone dumber and stronger. “

 

“So I contacted some aliens from a planet I’ve never even heard of. They’re good, Lena. They _feed_ on Green K. It makes them stronger. I almost had her the last time, but there wasn’t enough time. I had to make sure to get everyone and everything away before anyone came for her. But this time I’ll get her. I’ll hit her were it hurts. “

 

“What do you mean? “ Lena asks.

 

“Guards! “ Lillian calls, a wicked smile on her face as she does so. “Good luck, dear, “ She whispers.

 

 

Kara’s there in the matter of minutes, wearing her Supergirl outfit and her hands in fists, ready to fight.

 

“What are you seeing, Supergirl? “ Hank asks through the earpiece.

 

Kara’s out of breath from panic. “Nothing, “ She says. “There’s nothing here. They’re gone, “ She whispers. “She took her. She took Lena. “ Her voice is shaking. She raises her hands to her forehead and runs her fingers through her hair.

 

“Kara, “ Alex says softly. “Come back. We’ll find her. “

 

“No, “ Kara whispers, shaking her head. “No, I- I need to go look for her now. I need- I need to do it now. “ Her voice is wheezing and she’s struggling to find air and words. Her head is spinning and hands are shaking.

 

“Kara, come back and we’ll find her. You can’t do this alone, you need to- “

 

Kara rips out her earpiece before she lets Alex finish her sentence. _Lena’s Lillian’s daughter. She won’t hurt her, she can’t. Lena is okay- she’ll be okay_. The thoughts run through her head but she’s not convinced. Any person who raised a man like Lex Luthor has to be insane themselves.

 

“Okay, “ She whispers to herself. “Where would I go? “ She turns around, looking through the walls of the apartment. “Where would I go? “ She whispers again, taking control of her breathing. “Lena. Lena, Lena. “ She slams her fist against a wall and breaks through it. Cuts on her knuckles appear but she ignores them and the pain.

 

“The warehouse, “ She says.


	17. Chapter 17

“What are you doing? “ Lena asks. She’s sitting in the middle of an open room, no windows. The only natural light is coming through the holes in the roof. Her hands are tied behind her back and she has a small cut on her left cheek, blood dripping from it and down her neck.

 

“I need your help. You _wanted_ to help, remember? So I looked through some security footage of the hospital and quickly found out you’ve been having meetings with Supergirl. It was like destiny, dear. “

 

“All those things you said about wanting to hurt Supergirl, “ Lillian says, walking around Lena in circles with her fingertips slowly tapping together. “Those were all lies. You lied to me, Lena. After all those years of hard work, trying to get the bond we had back and- “

 

“We never had a bond, mother. You had your son, Lex, and then you had me, dead weight. Just someone taking up space. “

 

“Don’t think so highly of yourself, “ Lillian says, chuckling behind folded hands. “You’re my daughter, remember? I knew I’d need you at some point and now, here we are, waiting for Supergirl to come rescue you, just to fall into this lovely trap and get herself killed. “

 

“You’re forgetting the part were I kick your ass, “ Kara says, flying down from one of the holes in roof. Her hands are on her hips and she’s already gotten her heat vision ready.

 

“The one and only, girl of steel, Supergirl, “ Lillian says, turning away from Lena. “You’re taller on TV. “

 

“Let her go and stop all of this, “ Kara says, taking a step forward. “There’s no need for this to get ugly- “ Lillian breaks into a wicked laugh.

 

“Oh, aren’t you adorable? Little Supergirl thinks she has a chance to stop this. It’s already begun. Right now you’re loosing your powers and you don’t even know it. From the second you breathed the air in this room you started to _die_. “

 

“Ka-Supergirl, _leave_! “ Lena says, trying to get op on her feet. But two men wearing black suits pull her back down.

 

Kara doesn’t understand what Lillian’s talking about. She doesn’t feel anything, she feels fine. “You’re looking very confused, “ Lillian says. “But just to make sure you don’t start playing any games- “

 

Kara feels how her lungs start burning and how her muscles are tensing up. She falls to her knees, her eyes are watering but they feel like they’re drying out. She looks up through the tears to see it, Green K inside a glass box.

 

“Even through glass this is more than enough to kill you, “ Lillian says. “Now- let’s talk. “

 

 

Kara wakes up and her head hurts. She doesn’t open her eyes until she hears Lena call her name. “Kara, Kara! “

 

“Mhm, what? “ Kara mumbles, trying to get up from the floor. Her hands are tied above her head to the bars of the cage she’s in.

 

“Kara, please, “ Lena says. Kara turns her head to see Lena sitting in a cage, just like her own, though her hands and legs aren’t tied like Kara’s.

 

“Give me a second, “ Kara mumbles. She tries to rip her arms free but her body aches and burns with every move.

 

“Look who’s awake, “ Lillian says. She’s standing outside Kara’s cage, looking down at her with a stern smile. “Here are the rules. I ask you questions and you tell me the answer to them. If you lie you will get hurt. If you don’t answer you will get hurt. If you do anything else, actually, than tell the truth- “

 

“I will get hurt, yeah, yeah, let’s get this over with, “ Kara says. She tries to sit up a bit more, preparing herself for whatever’s coming.

 

Lillian takes a small, black box out from a drawer in a desk behind her. It’s sealed with different locks. Once she has it open she removes the lid and Kara can see the shining green rock inside of it.

 

“The last time I tried to remove your powers you lost your ability to heal, right? “

 

“Yes, “ Kara says through gritted teeth.

 

“I didn’t understand why it only took that power and nothing else. So I did some research and found out that you were simply just too strong. “ Lillian opens Kara’s cage and walks inside of it, crouching down next to Kara.

 

“So now I’ll weaken you a bit before the big finally. “

 

“Why do you want to take my powers if you’re going to kill me anyways? “ Kara spits, trying to lean back, away from the kryptonite.

 

Lillian laughs shortly. “I want you to die human- “

 

“I’ll never be human! “ Kara grunts, leaning her head away from Lillian’s hand, which is carrying the kryptonite.

 

“See, that was a lie, dear. “ She runs the rock against Kara’s skin from her ear to her jaw. Kara’s skin burns and she lets out a high-pitched scream. Her body twists and turns to get away from the pain but she’s trapped and the rock keeps hurting her.

 

“Next question, “ Lillian says after removing the rock from Kara. “Who do you work for and where is the location of this organization? “

 

Kara remembers the day the DEO decided to go full secret-service. Hank had decided that it would be too risky to let people know that a taskforce was keeping aliens in prisons for research.

 

“I work alone, “ Kara says.

 

“Another lie? What a bold move, “ Lillian says, pressing the kryptonite against Kara’s cheek. Kara screams again.

 

“Stop! Stop it! You’re killing her- _Stop_! “ Lena screams, shaking the bars of her cage as if she eventually would just break them. “Mother, please! “ She cries.

 

“ _Quiet_ , Lena. Mother’s working, “ Lillian says. “One more time, Supergirl. Or should I call you Kara? Who do you work for? “

 

“I don’t- “ She screams again as the rock touches her skin. She feels how her blood is boiling and her skin is drying out. “Okay! “ She cries, tears falling down her cheeks. “I- I work for the- “

 

“Kara, don’t- “ Lena yells.

 

“The DEO, “ She whispers.

 

“The DEO? Interesting. And where are they located? “ Lillian asks. Kara hesitates for a second, but Lillian gets a firm grip around the kryptonite and runs it along Kara’s chin.

 

“In a desert outside of town. I- I don’t know the name of it, only the coordinates. “ Kara sighs.

 

“Next question, Kara Danvers. “ Lillian takes the kryptonite in her other hand, giving Lena a short look.

 

“Mother, stop this! I- I love her, please. I love her! Don’t do this, don’t hurt her. Not anymore! “

 

Lillian turns to her daughter in horror. “What? You- you love her? I should have expected this, “ She says, shaking her head in anger. “You’ve never been very smart. “

 

“Insult me, call me names- hell, _hurt_ me, I don’t care! But let her go because she hasn’t done anything wrong! “ Lena yells.

 

“I _am_ hurting you, “ Lillian says. “You’ve gone against me for years now, Lena. This is how I’m punishing you. “

 

“You’re _sick_ , “ Lena spits, trying to stop the tears flowing down her face, but Lillian just laughs.

 

“I think it’s time for the big finally, “ Lillian says. She puts the kryptonite back in the box and steps out of Kara’s cage and back to the desk. “See this? “ She asks, holding out a remote control.

 

Kara can barely keep her eyes open to look. She feels too tired, too sleepy. Her head is falling down to meet her shoulder and arm, Lena’s voice keeping her up.

 

“Looks like you’re getting a bit tired, Supergirl? “ Lillian laughs. “Well, try to stay up. You should really enjoy your last day with powers. “ She presses a white button at the top of the remote and puts it in her pocket. “Have fun, “ She says before leaving out the door, locking it behind her.

 

A cloud of something yellowish fills the room, the light mist makes it harder to see, but Lena concentrates her vision on Kara- she needs to see her.

 

“Kara, “ Lena says falling to her knees next to Kara. She can’t reach her, but she’s close. “Kara, please. Stay away, please. Kara! “ Lena cries. She’s pressing her body against the bars but she can’t reach her, she can’t touch her.

 

“Lena, “ Kara mumbles, turning her head to see her. Blood is streaming from the cuts the kryptonite made in her skin. “Lena, “ She says again.

 

“Yes, Kara. I’m here. I’m right here, okay? Look at me, “ Lena cries.

 

“I’m going to get us- us out of- uh, of here, “ Kara mumbles. She turns her head again and looks towards the lock on Lena’s cage. She closes her eyes for a second, feeling the temptation of keeping them that way, but then she opens them and the heat is burning through her head like a powerful migraine.

 

“Yes! “ Lena yells and jumps up and to the door of her cage. She pushes it open by slamming her shoulder into it, careful not to touch the hot metal. “Kara, do it again. Open your cage, please! “ Lena says, stepping aside.

 

“I- I can’t, “ Kara whispers. “They’re gone- powers- my powers, Lena, they’re gone. “

 

“No, no they’re not. Kara, do it. Open your cage, please! “ Lena screams, slamming her hand against the bars. She turns to the desk and looks through the drawers. They’re almost empty except for the box with kryptonite and some papers.

 

“Shit, “ She swears, looking around the room. “Kara? “ She calls as she runs to the other side of the room. There’s a big bookcase but it’s almost empty. She looks through the few books in it, they’re all normal, no secret key hiding inside of them.

 

“Kara! “ She yells. She runs to the back of Kara’s cage, the side Kara’s leaning up against. “Look at me, “ She says and Kara slowly turns her head. Her eyes are red and the veins in them have popped from the heat vision.

 

Lena unties Kara’s hands after a couple minutes of struggling. “Kara, get up and use your heat vision again! I know you can, please, just try! “

 

“Lena, “ Kara mumbles. Lena takes her hands through the bars, supporting her body.

 

“I love you, “ Lena says. “And I will love you again tomorrow because you’ll still be here. But that’s because you’ll open your stupid cage right now! “ Lena screams and Kara lets out a small laugh.

 

“I love you, “ Kara whispers. “But run away. Please, “ She mumbles.

 

“No, “ Lena cries against Kara’s back, the bars cold against her forehead. “No, Kara don’t! Don’t you do this, please. “

 

“I love you, “ Kara mumbles.

 

“Kara, “ Lena whispers.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry

Winn knows that it’s too late. He knows that the second he’s standing inside the room with them. Alex is on her knees next to her sister, Lena’s still sitting behind the cage and Kal-El is trying to carry Kara out, but he’s shaking so much.

 

“Winn? “ Mon-El whispers behind him, taking his hand. “We need to go, we need to leave. “ Winn doesn’t understand how he’s moving, because he sure as hell isn’t doing it himself. He feels like he’s floating in the air right behind Mon-El who keeps turning back to see him.

 

The sun is setting outside and the wind is picking up. He gets into a car, it’s Mon-El’s car. They’re driving, Winn knows this because he can see the streetlights flash around him like shiny lines.

 

He shuts his eyes for a moment but then he hears it all again. Then he hears the way Alex calls Kara’s name and the sound of Kal-El ripping the door off the cage, even though the kryptonite is hurting him. He sees Lena, sitting in shock and horror, holding onto Kara’s hand, kissing her hair as the tears stream down her face.

 

And he doesn’t want to see that. He wants to go back to Kara’s apartment and watch TV and talk about things that don’t matter.

 

“Winn, “ Mon-El says, leading him out of the car. They must’ve been driving for about ten second because it doesn’t feel like much longer.

 

They walk inside the tall building and inside the elevator until a very loud ‘bing’ appears and they step out. It’s only now that Winn realizes they’re back at the DEO.

 

There’s painful silence in the office. No one’s working, everyone has their eyes on Kal-El who’s carrying Kara into a medical room, closing the door behind him. The air is cold against Winn’s skin, _he’s_ cold. He’s shaking. He’s not okay, he can’t breathe.

 

“Winn? “ Mon-El says, holding his hand a little tighter. “Winn, hey- “ He stands on his knees next to Winn, who’s sitting on a chair. Mon-El kisses Winn’s hand and rests up against his leg. “It’s going to be okay, “ He says and Winn wishes he had said ‘ _she’s_ going to be okay’ but he didn’t because she won’t.

 

She won’t be okay.

 

 

Alex feels like she’s dreaming. Like she’s going to wake up soon and she’ll realize all of this isn’t real because it can’t be. It can’t be real. Maggie is sitting next to her, leaning up against the wall of the medical room. Kara’s inside the room and Alex wants to be with her but the doctors are saying no.

 

“She’s strong, “ Maggie says. It’s true, Kara _is_ strong. But strong isn’t enough this time.

 

Alex looks up and stands straight when the door opens. A doctor comes out and his face, his expression, is painful because it’s blank and doesn’t say anything. Winn, Mon-El, Kal-El and Hank all gather around the man.

 

“We stitched everything together again. Her heart is beating, but she won’t wake up. I’m sorry, “ He says, nodding along to his own words.

 

Alex feels Maggie’s arms around her, they’re strong and warm and she wishes she could enjoy them, feel them. She looks up from Maggie’s shoulder to find Winn sitting on the floor, he looks like he fell. Mon-El’s crouching down next to him, tears falling.

 

Hank’s left, he’s gone. Suddenly the room starts spinning and Alex can’t stand. She’s down. She’s fallen, just like Winn. She finds herself screaming and she doesn’t understand why or how and she can’t stop because when she screams she feels the closest to breathing and, god, she needs to breath. She can’t breathe.

 

“Alex, “ Maggie whispers. She’s holding Alex’s head up, looking into her eyes. And Alex’s scream turns into loud sobs and her throat hurts and her head hurts and she can’t feel her body, it’s so heavy and she’s so weak.

 

Maggie kisses her forehead and helps her up, supports her as Alex steadies herself against the wall again. “I need to- I- I need to see her- Kara, I need to see- “

 

“Alex, “ Maggie shushes and holds her close again but Alex can’t, she just can’t.

 

“I need- “ Alex mumbles. “I need to see her, Maggie. She’s- oh my, god- she’s my sister. She’s my- my sister and I need to see her, please- I need- “

 

“Alex, stop! “ Maggie says firmly and takes her hand just before Alex opens the door forcefully. “You need to calm down. “ Maggie’s voice is firm but soft and the tears in her eyes are for the pain Alex’s feeling.

 

“Breathe, “ She whispers.

 

 

He did the wrong thing. He knows that. He should’ve made her stop the minute she got weaker. He will regret this every day for the rest of his life. Hank knows that. Hank knows this is partly his fault, his mistake. He had the authority to make her stop and he didn’t do anything, he just let her go out and risk her life.

 

He slams the door shut to his office and punches it hard, feeling the sharp pain in his hands for a second before hitting it again, and again and again until it hurts too much and too little at the same time.

 

He turns to his desk. It’s filled with papers he once was so worried about. Now they’re just taking up space, they’re just mess. He grabs the edge of the small table and flips it over so it hits the filing cabinets on the other side of the room.

 

He lost another member of his family, a family he never even knew he’d get. He lost her, he lost his daughter from another planet.

 

 

“We- we need to call James and- uh, and her mother- we need to call them and let them know, “ Winn mumbles, trying to get his phone out of his pocket. He’s still on the floor and Mon-El is trying to get him up but he can’t keep it together either.

 

“We- I can’t just sit here, Mon-El, we- we need to do something. We need to- we- “ Winn tries to unlock his phone but he keeps getting the password wrong and he can’t type when the phone’s wet from his tears and he can’t stop his tears, fuck, why can’t he stop crying?

 

He holds the phone and throws it into the wall, the loud sound of it breaking fills the room. He doesn’t know what to do, he doesn’t do well with this, this grieving part of everything. He doesn’t want to do it, he doesn’t want to, he can’t. It hurts, it hurts too much.

 

 

Lena feels the cold air against her skin. People are walking past her, smiling, laughing. “Luthor! “ Someone calls and she turns around. She can feel how her eyes are puffy and wet, she’s still crying.

 

It’s Superman, it’s Kal-El. “She’s- she’s not going to wake up, “ He says. “She’s not going to make it. “ And Lena doesn’t know why she doesn’t break down. She already knew this, she’s a doctor and even though she’s specialized in humans she could tell from the second Kara closed her eyes that she wouldn’t open them again.

 

“What are they going to do? “ Lena asks, her voice is almost gone.

 

“I- I don’t know, “ He says, shaking his head. “Do you want to- to see her? “

 

Lena has done many studies about people’s reactions to death and Kal-El’s reaction is a classic-tough-guy reaction. He pushes his own feelings away and occupies himself by pretending to care about others.

 

“I’ll see her tomorrow, “ Lena says. “Because she’ll be here tomorrow and she’ll be here the day after that. Kara doesn’t give up, not even a coma can keep her away from this planet. “


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> three chapters in one day? that's fine? right?

 

The sun leaves the DEO with a warm feeling. The sound of the city is coming up through the big open window and Winn almost forgets what’s really happening for a second. “Any news? “ Mon-El asks, laying a hand on Winn’s shoulder.

 

“No, she’s stable. “ He shrugs and continues to linger at his screen. “I’m trying to find a way to fix this, to fix her, but- “ He shakes his head with a sigh.

 

“We’ll figure something out. “ Mon-El nods. “Have you talked to James yet? “

 

“I called him, “ Winn says. “He’s, uh, he’s upset, of course. But he doesn’t want to come see her. He said he doesn’t want to remember her like this. “

 

“Makes sense, “ Mon-El says, shrugging.

 

“What? No, it doesn’t. He’s being dramatic and- and- and _extreme_. She’ll wake up and he’ll see how stupid it was that he wasn’t here! “

 

“Winn, “ Mon-El whispers. “Let him do this his way, okay? “ Mon-El leans forward and kisses Winn on the top of his head.

 

 

Maggie’s should be right next to her but she isn’t. So Alex jumps out of bed, takes the gun from her bedside table and sneaks into the living room, slowly. The gun is heavy in her hand but it fit perfectly, like it’s made just for her.

 

There’s a scent of something sweet in the air, music is playing softly from the radio. She walks slowly in to the living room and turns a corner to see the kitchen, to see Maggie slowly swinging her hips to the tunes as she flips pancakes and bacon.

 

“Good morning- “ Maggie stops talking once she sees the gun in Alex’s hand. “What are you doing? “ She asks with a short laugh.

 

“I- I don’t know- I thought- “ Alex puts the gun down on a table near the windows and walks over to Maggie, her feet dragging her across the room.

 

“That’s not good, Alex. That’s not how someone should react to me not being in bed with them, “ Maggie says. Her words are firm and strict, but she has a playful smile on her lips.

 

“I know, “ Alex sighs. She leans forward and kisses her girlfriend on the lips. “You’re making breakfast? “

 

“I am, “ Maggie says with a smile.

 

“To keep my mind off the fact that Kara’s back at the DEO, only alive because of a few machines. “

 

“Way to kill the mood, Danvers. She’ll be okay. Winn will figure something out and we’ll get her back, with or without powers. It doesn’t matter, Alex. I just have this feeling that she’ll be okay, that she’ll fight through this. Now, be quiet and eat your food. “

 

 

“I’m here to see my mother, “ Lena says, standing in front of Mon-El and Winn, both of them have their arms crossed. “Please. “

 

“Why do you need to see her? “ Mon-El asks.

 

“Because she’s my mother and- “

 

“Let her in, “ Alex calls from the other side of the room. She’s walking with some papers in her hands as she meets them. Mon-El and Winn nod and walk away. “Sorry, “ Alex says with a smile. “They’re playing cool for some reason, it’s nothing personal. “

 

“Hey! Superhearing! “ Mon-El calls but Alex just shrugs it off.

 

“I’ll lead you to her, “ Alex says with a smile. She puts down the papers on a desk and walks, with Lena next to her, down a hallway, to the right and then she stops outside a big, metal door. “She’s in here. It’s a glass cage so you can’t touch her or anything. We just need to be extra careful- “

 

“I understand, “ Lena lies, even though it hurts. “Can I see her alone? “

 

“Sure, “ Alex says. She types some numbers in on a small screen next to the door and it slides open.

 

Lillian is sitting on a bed that has no madras, only a pillow and a blanket. There’s a plate full of food on the floor near a small hatch it was probably sent through. Lillian’s hair is messy and her dress is wrinkly and stained. There’re dark bags under her eyes and her face is angrier than normal.

 

“You’re not eating? “ Lena asks after the door slides shut behind her. She looks over her shoulder to check they’re alone, she doesn’t know why.

 

“I don’t know what they’re putting in the food here, “ Lillian says and Lena can tell she hasn’t talked for long, her voice is raspy and dry.

 

“Dying of hunger when you have the option to eat is stupid, “ Lena says. “Then again, dying because you were caught by the DEO for trying to kill Supergirl and every other alien in this city is also borderline stupid. “

 

“ _Trying_? “ Lillian asks, a smirk appearing on her dull face. “Is she still alive? She’s stronger than I thought. “

 

“Her heart is beating, “ Lena says with a sigh. “But we’re figuring things out and we’re finding a way to get her back. It’s a lot of hard work but we’re close. “ Lena walks around the glass cage, looking her mother up and down, who turns to face her.

 

“Oh really? “ Lillian laughs.

 

“Yes, _really_. Though, it would be much easier if you were to just tell us how to bring her back. Maybe that would even make you loose a few death sentences in the long run, “ Lena says, she stops and looks at her mother.

 

“I know you don’t care about me, “ She says. “You’ve shown that multiple times. But just know, that what you’ve done and what you’re _doing_ \- it’s hurting more people than just Supergirl and me. You’re breaking the hearts of thousands for killing her. You’re risking the entire city, mother. By killing her you’re giving other alien creatures a free run when it comes to crime. _She’s_ the one who’s been saving us, catching the bad guys and bringing them here- “

 

“Just like she did to me? “ Lillian says. “I have risked my life to save people, just like she did. Aliens are taking over this city and then the planet! And no one’s doing anything about it! Everyone are just standing by, letting it happen. “

 

“You have not saved _anyone_! “ Lena yells, pointing at her furiously. “You have hurt me and you have _ruined_ your son! You raised him to be like you and now- now _you_ have to be like _him_ to not seem like a bad mother. But listen to me, mother, listen to me very carefully. Because you are the worst mother in the world. You did not only ruin your son, you even ruined your daughter! You ruined _me_ whom you adopted! I am not even your blood and you broke me. “

 

“ _Broke you_? I have made you see and think in a way that is necessary if you want to survive in a world like this. I am your mother and I love- “

 

“ _Don’t_ , “ Lena says. She closes her eyes for a second before taking a deep breath. “I’ve listened to you and I’ve tried to understand and, mother, I understand. I understand that this is scary and new and that, yes, there are a lot of bad aliens out there who want to hurt us, but there are so many good ones too. Supergirl is one of them. She has tried to save us- again and again she has risked her life to safe ours. “

 

“She broke my son, “ Lillian whispers, holding her hand in front of her mouth to keep her from crying.

 

“No, “ Lena says, walking up to the glass. “ _You_ did that. “


	20. Chapter 20

 

The only sound in the room is coming from the machines, beeping to make sure everyone knows Kara’s heart is still beating. Her hair is flat by her face on the pillow and someone, probably Alex, has previously pulled a blanket up over her, as if she could feel cold.

 

Winn is standing next to the bed, holding Kara’s warm hand like nothing’s wrong. “I miss you, “ He whispers, surprised when his voice breaks. “I miss having you around to yell at me when I’m not doing things the right way and I miss watching TV at your place and talk about things that don’t matter. “

 

He turns to look at the machine, which is plucked into Kara’s throat. He looks at the numbers and feels like he’s seen them before, like those exact combinations of numbers have been written before in that exact order.

 

“Everything okay? “ Mon-El pops his head inside, holding onto the wall, smiling.

 

“Yeah- I- I think maybe I figured it out, “ Winn says. He runs out of the room and down to his desk. He types some things in on the screen that Mon-El doesn’t understand and if it wasn’t because whatever Winn might be doing could safe Kara’s life, he’d stop Winn and kiss him right then and there.

 

“Uh, Alex! “ Mon-El calls as she walks by. “Winn’s- he’s, uh, he’s nerding, “ Mon-El says and grins when he sees a smirk on Winn’s face.

 

“What- “ Alex tries.

 

“Listen, “ Winn says, his eyes stay on the screen as she speaks. “The numbers on the machines in there with Kara, those number- I mean- I’ve seen them before. And I think I know how to fix this- how to fix her. “

 

 

 

“Gold K is a type of kryptonite created by radiation, right? And to reverse radiation we have to… “ He looks around the room, waiting for someone to answer. No one says anything so he sighs loudly, continuing. “We need zeolite and lots and lots of it. “

 

“What is that? “ Kal-El asks, looking at Winn.

 

“It’s- “ Winn sighs. “It’s something scientists have used for years when it comes to big amounts of radiation. They used it in Chernobyl on the animals that lived there. They found that by exposing them to zeolite they eventually got the DNA of the animals back to normal. “

 

“So we just need to find this zeolite? “ Kal-El asks, hopeful.

 

“Well, “ Winn says. “It’s actually sold online, but I wouldn’t buy that. We need something bigger and more powerful. “

 

“I’ll contact some people I know, “ Hank says. “I’m sure they’ll do Supergirl a favor. “

 

After everyone leaves the meeting room Alex turns to him with a bright smile on her face. “If this works, “ She says. “I’ll owe you one. “ Winn laughs shortly and nods her off. Mon-El is standing by his side, his hands are crossed and he’s smiling.

 

“You did it, “ He says.

 

“She’s still not okay and, Mon-El, if this works she could still be severely hurt. I mean- it’s radiation. Zeolite is normally used by people who ate some bad fish and are scared they might’ve eaten something slightly radioactive. “

 

“Still, “ Mon-El says. “You came closer to a solution. This is a good thing. “ He takes Winn’s hand and holds it tight as Winn gets up from his chair. “You’re really smart sometimes. “

 

“Sometimes? “ Winn whispers and takes a small step back just to hit his desk. “I mean- uh, yeah. Duh? Of course- like, always. “ Mon-El laughs and Winn can feel his cheeks go red and how his face is suddenly hot.

 

 

“Wait- Lena! “ Alex calls, running after her. They’re standing by the elevator in the DEO. “Did you talk to your mom? “ She asks.

 

“I did, “ Lena says, harshly. “What are you going to do with her here? “

 

“Well- “ Alex thinks for a second, it’s not something they’ve even really discussed. “Since she’s human we can’t keep her here for long. After we’ve gotten all the information we can use out of her, she’ll need to go to a real prison somewhere. “

 

“Of course, “ Lena says and folds her hands. She steps inside the elevator and Alex follows her.

 

“Winn just told us some things about Kara. He may have found a way to bring her back, “ Alex says and smiles even wider now.

 

“Really? “ Lena asks, a small grin appearing on her lips.

 

“Y-yes, really. Aren’t you happy? “ Alex asks, because Lena’s smile fades quickly and there’s something about the way her hands are shaking and Alex now notices she’s biting the inside of her cheek. “Is everything okay? “

 

“Yeah- yes. Of course, I mean- this is great news. “ Lena smiles again. When the elevator beeps she almost runs out of it and out of the building.

 

“Lena- “ Alex calls but the elevator closes its doors and start to move upwards again.

 

 

Her heart is pounding, she can feel it in her throat. The way it beats faster and faster with every step, like it’s about to just explode inside of her. She runs, faster and faster, but she doesn’t get anywhere. The hospital is down on her right, but she doesn’t want to go there. There’s only one place she wants to stay but she doesn’t have the keys and the owner of that apartment is in a coma because of her mother.

 

So she makes a left, a right and then she continues to run down a few streets until she’s standing outside a dark green door. She opens it, feeling its weight, and walks inside of the small bar.

 

Someone’s performing again tonight so people are placed all around the lady singing. Lena sits down by the bar and orders the bright, blue drink she remembers ordering for Kara when they came here.

 

“Rough day? “ The bartender asks, lining up an odd shaped glass as he pours different things in it until the drink has its perfect shade of blue.

 

“Rough life, “ Lena says and hates what a clichés she’s become. She takes the drink and pays for it. “Open bill? “ She asks with a kind smile and the man nods a yes. “Then give me two more of these- “ She takes a sip. “And make them stronger, please. “

 

She turns around in her chair to see the performer, but she’s gone off the stage now and is packing up her things. People are putting money in a small jar and then walking away, back to their tables of drinks and friends.

 

The woman comes over to the bartender and fishes out a couple twenty dollar bills, giving them to the bartender and then vanishing out the door.

 

“She’s a good woman that one, “ The bartender says, nodding towards the door. “She’s singing here, accepting that most of the people sitting over there, listening to her music, are only doing it to eventually do her. “

 

Lena turns back to the man and shakes her head quickly. “Beasts, “ She whispers. The bar is almost empty after an hour of people slowly walking away. When Lena checks her phone it’s much later than what she’d thought. Her head is starting to feel heavy and her fingers are tingling from the sugary drinks.

 

“One more, “ She says, surprised by her slurred words. The bartender shakes his head and mixes another drink. Lena can tell he’s not putting as much tequila in it this time so, of course, she orders another one.

 

“I’m a doctor, “ She says. “I save people’s lives for a living. “

 

“And now you’re here, waiting for some magical man to walk in and save yours? Heard it all before, princess. “ The man laughs as he cleans the bar.

 

“ _No_ , “ Lena says and shakes her head. She’s playing with the little stick of olives. “I’m here because my girlfriend is in a coma and it’s all because of me. You know, I never really loved being a doctor. But the constant reminder that I’m saving someone made it a lot more bearable. But now- now I need to save my girlfriend and guess what. Guess what! I can’t. I just fucking _can’t_. “


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning: some shit is about to go down, so this might be a little extreme to some people. if you want more details (as like a warning and stuff) please message me on tumblr @notreallystraight and i'll tell you sort of what'll happen!
> 
> also!
> 
> sorry

She wakes up the next morning and her head is pounding. Light is shining through the closed blinds and she scrunches up her face in disapproval. “Wake up, sleepyhead! “ Someone calls. Lena turns away from the voice, trying to hide her face beneath her blanket, but it gets ripped off and she’s now exposed to the cold air.

 

“Lena Luthor, “ The voice says and she can hear the clicking sound from its mouth. She hasn’t heard those in years.

 

“Lex? “ She whispers so soft she didn’t thought anyone could hear.

 

“That’s right, sissy! “ He says, loudly, and jumps down on the bed with her, clapping and laughing like a little child. “God, I have just _missed you_. So much! “

 

Lena sits up quickly and crawls backwards away from him. She feels her throat go tight and she can’t say anything, she wants to scream.

 

“Don’t be so dramatic, sister. “ He smiles. “I’m just catching up with my family. “ His bald head is catching the light from the sun outside. His teeth are dark and crooked and his eyes are open widely.

 

“Get away from me, “ Lena spits, surprised by how calm her voice sounds.

 

“That’s not a way to greet your brother! “ He yells and stands up, throwing his arms around like crazy. “I have missed you, you know. God, the times as I’ve pulled the trigger down town- “ He sighs as he pictures the happenings. “I’ve always thought of when we used to play cowboy and police in the garden back home. “

 

“You’re _sick_ , “ Lena says.

 

Lex turns around quickly and looks at her. He stops smiling. He jumps up in the bed and Lena screams as she tries to pull the covers to hide her, but she fails. He leans down over her and grabs her face roughly, turning it to see it properly.

 

“Don’t call me names, sissy. You know I’ll have to tell mother. Now, “ He says, letting go of her. “Where _is_ mother? “

 

Lena gasps. She’s trembling all over. She thinks about all the questions the police asks the victims she gets in the hospital. _What was the room like? What did you see through the window? What did the criminal look like?_

 

She looks at the room she’s in. It’s small and dark. There’s a lamp next to the bed but the bulb’s broken, so he’s always in a need of natural light. The bed is big enough for two people, which is odd because Lex would never get any visitors. There’s a dresser, too. It’s missing a couple of drawers.  
  
She tries to look past him, out through the open door, but she can’t see anything. She turns her head to look out through the window. She can see a brick wall in the distance and when Lex doesn’t talk she can hear noises from the city.

 

“Answer me! “ He screams and turns around to look at her.

 

“I don’t know the address! “ Lena cries and looks down. “I- I know where she is, but I don’t know the address. I always just walk there. “

 

“Liar, “ He whispers wickedly, spit coming out of his mouth through his gritted teeth. “Where is our mother? “ He asks again, this time there’s a laugh afterwards. “I miss our mother, dear Lena. “

 

“I can lead you to her, “ Lena says and looks up again. “I can lead you to her and I can get her free. “

 

“Interesting, “ He purrs like a cat and shakes his shoulders a little. “Let’s go, then! “ He calls, pointing up to the ceiling and walking out.

 

 

“Lena- “ Alex says, her smile fading as soon as she sees the man behind Lena. She draws out her gun and holds it out in front of her.

 

“Ohohoh! I wouldn’t do that if I were you, dear! “ Lex laughs. He has a gun to Lena’s head as he follows right behind her. “And the gun is not even the best part, “ He says. “Tell them, Lena. “

 

Lena sighs. Her eyes fall on Alex again and she mouths a ‘sorry’. “If you hurt him or me you will blow this entire floor up- “ She takes a second to breathe. “As well as the hospital, the police station and every single school in this town. There’s a bomb strapped to both of us and if our heart stops beating we’ll- they will explode along with the rest of them. “

 

“Lena, “ Alex whispers, shaking her head.

 

“I’m sorry- “

 

“Be quiet, sister! God, you’ve always been such a chitchatter, “ Lex says and laughs quickly. “Now let’s go get mother, right? “ He skits along the floor, following Lena who’s walking right in front of him with her head down.

 

“Lena! Hey- “ Winn gasps loudly and backs up quickly at the sight of Lex Luthor. He’s just come out of the medical room, tears have marked his cheeks.

 

“That one’s cute! “ Lex says and shakes his head in awe. “The cute ones are always on the good side. “

 

Winn swallows hard and turns around, Mon-El stepping out in front of him. “And taken, “ Mon-El says. “What are you doing here? “

 

“Don’t be silly little lily, “ Lex says and laughs. “I’m here for my mother. “ Alex is following them, her gun still out.

 

“I need everyone to leave the building, quickly, “ She says through her radio on her chest by her shoulder.

 

“Alex- “ Winn says.

 

“ _Everyone_ , “ Alex says and nods for him to get Kara out.

 

Lex and Lena continue down the hall until she stops outside of a metal door. “She’s in there, “ Lena says.

 

“Great! Open it. “

 

“I don’t have the password, “ Lena mutters. “I forgot about that. “ Lex grabs her by her hair and holds it tight, forcing Lena’s head back and she yelps in pain.

 

“You just _forgot_ about that? Who has the password, then? “ He asks, looking at the people- the guards. They’re all standing ready for whatever he’s about to do. “Okay, this is taking too long. Tell me the password or I’ll start killing people and who says I won’t start with my sister from another mister? “ He laughs again but stops quickly.

 

“Don’t tell him, “ Lena says and shuts her eyes quickly. “Don’t tell him, “ She says again.

 

“What a brave little fool you are, “ Lex says. “Tell. Me. The. Password. _Now_. “

 

“Fine! Okay, okay, “ Alex says and takes a step forward. She holds her hands up when he points the gun at her. “206, 208, 210 and 212, “ Alex says slowly as he types in the numbers.

 

“Alex, “ Lena whispers. Lex grabs her arm and drags her with him inside.

 

“Lex, leave! “ Lillian yells and suddenly something comes flying down, grabbing Lex and dragging him out of the room within seconds. Lena falls to the floor in surprise and runs out, following what just happened.

 

“Kal-El! “ Alex yells up at him. He’s holding Lex by his throat. Lex’s feet are dangling beneath him as he struggle to breath. “If you kill him thousands of people will die! Put him down! “ Alex yells.

 

Kal-El flies down, hitting Lex’s head hard on the floor before standing up again, keeping Lex’s arms behind his back. The entire floor is empty except for the couple of guards that stayed, Alex, Lena and Lillian in her glass cage in the other room.

 

“It’s over, Lex, “ Kal-El says. Suddenly Lex breaks into a fit of laughter and he almost can’t keep himself up.

 

“Oh, it’s far from over, Superman. “ He smiles. “Right, sissy? “

 

Alex turns around to see Lena, her face is pale and her hands are shaking. Sweat is dripping from her forehead, all because of nervousness. “I’m sorry, “ She whispers again, looking up to meet Alex’s confused eyes.

 

Lena turns around, back to the metal door. She unlocks it with the password and walks in. The little panel by the cage needs another password and she call through the open door.

 

“What’s the password in here? “ Her voice is shaking.

 

“Tell her or else- “ Lex says and laughs. He wiggles his shoulders, exposing the bomb strapped to his stomach.

 

“107, 109, 111 and 112, “ Alex says with a sigh. “Lena, please don’t do this! “ Alex yells.

 

“And you’re going to let go of me now, right? “ Lex asks Kal-El who grunts and releases him with a push. “Thank you! “ Lex says and laughs again, licking his lips dramatically. “How’s it going, sissy? “

 

And at the same moment, Lena walks out with Lillian Luthor right behind her. “She’s out. You got what you wanted, Lex. Now let us go, “ Lena says with a sigh.

 

“This was almost too easy, “ Lex says, displeased. “Is there really nothing you’re going to do to stop me? “ He asks, looking at Kal-El. “I mean, you _are_ Superman, right? “

 

“Just leave, “ Kal-El says.

 

Lex sighs as he walks over to his mother and sister, taking both of their hands. Lillian smiles and kisses the back of his hand, as any mother would do. Lena sighs, tears stinging her eyes as she gets dragged along to the elevator.

 

“It’s weird not killing anyone, “ Lex says, suddenly. He stops right in front of the elevator, turns around and takes the gun from his pocket. He stretches out his hand in front of him, aims and shoots. “Bang, “ He says happily and turns back to the elevator.

 

One of the guards falls to the floor with a loud thump and the man standing next to the fallen one takes out his gun and shoots once, hitting the wall above the Luthor’s. “Woops, gotta be careful there, mate. “ Lex grins. “Don’t want to be blowing everything up, do you? “

 

“Stop! “ Alex yells to the man. “Check if he’s still alive. Help him, “ She says. “The police are everywhere down there. As soon as you walk out of this building you’re caught. “

 

“That’s the beauty of wearing bombs, dear. It keeps anyone from hurting you, “ He says and laughs.

 

“And what about those who aren’t wearing bombs? “ Alex asks. She loads her gun with a click, points and shoots it, feeling the power of the weapon in her hands as it pulls back from the shot. The bullet piers through the air and hits the woman, not making a sound on its way.

 

Lillian Luthor falls back, hitting the closed elevator doors. Blood pours out from her chest and mouth, she coughs for a second until she stops moving completely. Her eyes fall closed and she’s gone- she’s dead.

 

“ _NO_! “ Lex screams, looking down at his mother. He loads his gun again and shoots crazily towards Alex, who’s jumped behind a half wall. “MOTHER! “ He yells as she shoots and shoots and shoots until he runs out of bullets. In the craziness of the shooting, he hit the other guard, who’s now laying flat on the floor. Lex throws the gun on the floor, taking another one out.

 

But Kal-El flies towards him with great speed, holding both his arms behind his back to Lex from doing anything. He twists them until Lex screams in pain. “It’s over, Luthor, “ Kal-El says.

 

“You can’t kill me, “ Lex grunts, spits flying out of his mouth. “I’ll kill thousands if you do it! “

 

“I’m not going to kill you, “ Kal-El says. “I’m going to have you rot for the rest of your life. “

 

“Let go of him, “ Lena says. Her voice is shaking and tears are streaming down her face. Kal-El turns around to look at her, still holding on to Lex. She has a gun in her hand, pointed towards her head. “If I die they all blow up, all the bombs and all the buildings and all the people. “

 

“Lena, “ Alex whispers, slowly coming out from the place she was hiding.

 

“How- how could you? “ Lena says, her voice breaks multiple times as she shakes her head. “You killed her out of anger, Alex. She was- she was my mother- “

 

“She wanted you dead. She tried to kill you- she tried to kill _Kara_! “ Alex yells. “Don’t do this! “ Alex cries.

 

“I don’t want to- “ Lena shakes her head. She looks over to Lex. “But he’s my family. I need him, “ She says, crying. “She can’t have died for nothing. “

 

“Lena! “ Alex yells, taking a step forward, but Lena loads the gun with a click and holds it tighter around the trigger. “Think about Kara. Think about when she wakes up, she won’t understand anything. She’ll wake up without me, without you, without Kal-El! You’ll be taking her family away from her. “

 

“She won’t wake up! “ Lena cries.

 

“Because of you mother, Lena! Don’t do this! Don’t hurt Kara like this. You know she doesn’t deserve this kind of pain, please! “ Alex cries. “If you just put the gun down we’ll- we’ll never tell her. We’ll never speak of this again, please! I understand- you’re hurt and upset and scared, I get it! But killing everyone is not the solution, Lena. “

 

“She raised me, “ Lena says, looking at something on the floor in front of her. “She’s my mother and she raised me. She taught me what was right and wrong and she taught me the wrong things, I know that. But she- I loved her. I had to, she was my mother! I mean- I- “ She shakes her head slowly.

 

“Lena? “ Everyone turns around to follow the voice that is coming from the open windows. She comes flying down the stairs, slowly and gently. When she lands she falls forward a few steps until she steadies herself on a table by her side. She walks over to Alex, who’s looking at her with a soft smile as she cries.

 

“Lena, what are you doing? “ Kara asks, taking a step forward. She holds herself up by holding onto the desk between them as she walks forward. The gun in Lena’s hand slowly falls to her side.

 

“Lena! No! “ Lex yells, but Kal-El tightens his grip around his arms and he keeps quiet.

 

“Lena, “ Kara whispers. Lena drops the gun on the floor with a sob.

 

“She broke me, “ She whispers, falling into Kara’s arms.


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this entire chapter is a typo. i'm sorry

The room is filled with colors, brighter than what Kara normally she remembers. She’s lying in her bed, looking up at the ceiling and dreaming of her life on Krypton. The starry night she sees above her fills her with memories and pleasant feelings. She turns her head to look at Lena, lying by her side. Her eyes are closed and mouth slightly open, letting out long relaxed breaths of air that follows her shoulders’ movements.

 

Lena is getting better, she really is. It’s been a week since everything happened. Lex is locked up in prison, a place he’s not getting out of any times soon. Kara’s been taking care of Lena, who’s been staying in her apartment since it happened, since her mother died.

 

Kara knows she doesn’t want to be anywhere else, she doesn’t want Lena to be anywhere else than with her. She turns around in bed, running her fingers through Lena’s hair to get it out of her face and Lena grumps, unsatisfied with the sudden awakening.

 

“Good morning, “ Kara whispers, smiling softly. Her eyes are still heavy and she feels the sleep hitting her hard again. She’s been up most of the night- she has been for the past week. But she doesn’t want Lena to know that. She doesn’t want Lena to know that Kara can’t sleep because of Lena’s nightmares that are making her move around a lot and talk in her sleep.

 

“Is it morning? “ Lena asks, her eyes are still closed so Kara places a kiss on her forehead to show her affection.

 

“It is. It’s actually almost past brunch-time, “ Kara says. Lena shoots her eyes open in panic. She gets a firm grip on Kara’s hand and leans over to be closer to her.

 

“Are you not going to make waffles? “ Lena asks and Kara can’t help but to laugh at the way Lena says those words, like they’re implying the worst of the worst.

 

“We could order something- “

 

“We’re not ordering pot stickers for breakfast, “ Lena says with a sigh, finishing it off with a chuckle. “We could also, you know, just stay in bed? “ Lena whispers, running her hand along the side of Kara’s body.

 

“I have work today, “ Kara says and she hates how Lena’s smile disappears. “I promised James to come back and help with some stuff. He thinks I’ve been gone for too long- “

 

“I get it, “ Lena says. She removes her hand from Kara quickly. “I can’t keep you here forever. I understand. “ But Lena’s voice is breaking on the last words and she turns her head to hide her tears, that have been coming too easily lately.

 

“Hey- Lena, please don’t cry, “ Kara says. She moves over, wrapping her arms around Lena’s body as tightly as she can.

 

“I’m not, “ Lena says and she shakes her head into her pillow. Kara kisses the back of her neck, enjoying the way Lena’s warm skin feels against her lips. “I’m not crying. “

 

“I’m only taking half a day there, “ Kara says. “And I’ll bring home waffles and a movie, I promise. I just have to go, “ She says, giving Lena enough space to turn around. “Or else I’ll get fired. “

 

“Cat Grant won’t fire you, “ Lena says, knowing how amazing Kara is at her job. “She adores you. “

 

“Feeling jealous, maybe? “ Kara winks and when Lena looks very, _very_ insulted she buries her face in the crease of Lena’s neck, kissing her and sucking on her skin until Lena’s frown turns into a fit of laughter.

 

 

“Someone’s had a good morning, “ Winn says as he leans back in his office chair. His screens are showing the paused screen of some videogame he’s been playing for years. His hair is messy, which means he has also had a good morning.

 

Kara just beams down at him and ruffles his hair up even more. Winn smiles wider and his cheeks blush from the memory of his morning. Kara keeps walking through the open office to get to her desk, Cat Grant is already standing by it, sunglasses on and a coffee in her hand.

 

“ _Keera_ Danvers, showing up late. Something I don’t want to get used to, “ She says, spins around on her heel and walks back inside her office, her hips swinging to a silent beat.

 

“I know! I’m so sorry, miss Grant- “

 

“I could fire you, you know. “

 

“For being late? “ Kara asks, shocked. She adjusts her glasses with her thumb and index finger.

 

“ _No_ , for wearing yellow to the office. “ Cat shoots a look at Kara’s summer dress with the white and yellow flower print on and sighs, scowls and takes off her sunglasses. She folds her hands in front of her on her desk.

 

“I- I’m sorry, miss Grant. It won’t happen again, “ Kara says. She turns around and walks out of the office when Cat’s voice stops her.

 

“I hope she’s worth it, Kara. “

 

 

“How is she? “ Alex asks.

 

“She’s- “ Kara thinks for a second, fiddling with the cape on her suit. “She’s dealing. She’s- she’s trying, at least. “

 

“That’s good, “ Alex says. “Have you told her- “

 

“ _No_ , no. I- I don’t know if this is the time. “

 

“Of course, “ Alex says. She pulls Kara in for a quick hug, placing her hand on the back of her sister’s neck and pecks her cheek before pulling away.

 

“Kara! “ Mon-El calls and waves her over with a smile. His hair is also as much of a mess as Winn’s this morning.

 

“Hey, Mon-El. “ Kara smiles, meeting him in a hug.

 

“Ready to train? “ He asks, lifting an eyebrow.

 

 

Kara grabs his shoulder and pushes him into the concrete wall. He winces and grunts from the quick shoot of pain. When he takes a step forward and turns to see the damage in the wall, Kara’s flying towards him. Mon-El grabs her by her arm and waist, throwing her across the room. She stops midair, gently flying down on the ground again.

 

“You hesitated, “ She says.

 

“I- _no_ , I just- I- “ Mon-El tries, his hands on his hip and a goofy smile on his face.

 

“You can’t hesitate, Mon! I need this- I need to train like normal again. Now that all of my powers are back and I don’t need to worry about breaking my back on a concrete wall, I need to learn everything again. “

 

“What if they’re not back for real? “ His words are quick, reveling that it’s something he’s thought of for a while now.

 

“Mon- “ Kara sighs.

 

“No, I’m sorry. I- I’m trying to be happy about this- I _am_ happy about this. But it’s hard when you want _me_ to risk hurting you. It doesn’t feel right throwing you into a wall, “ He says, laughing at the last bit.

 

“I have my powers back, Mon. I’ve tried to stab myself with a knife, you know, just to be sure. All I did was ruin my shirt. “ Kara sighs at the ruining-her-shirt-part. “I really liked that shirt. “

 

“It just seems too easy the way you got your powers back, “ He says, sitting down on the foot of the staircase in the training room.

 

“There was nothing easy about it, “ Kara says. “When- when I was ‘out’ for, like, a month, you know. I could still hear everything- “

 

“What? “ He turns to look at her.

 

“I wasn’t out, like, not _really_. I couldn’t move- I- I couldn’t do anything. But I could still hear you and feel you when you held my hand and that helped so much- “

 

“Kara, why didn’t you say this earlier? “ Mon-El asks, taking her hand out of habit.

 

“Because- “ Kara says. “You’re a horrible singer and I didn’t feel like sharing that with the rest of the group. “ She laughs and Mon-El gives her push and grins. They both think back to when Mon-El was cleaning up in the medical room whilst Kara was in ‘coma’. He’d been singing every Beyoncé song there is.

 

“I’m just glad you’re back and you’re okay, “ He says.

 

“Yeah, it’s nice to be back. “

 

 

When Kara gets home she’s being greeted by a sleeping Lena in her bed. She’s wrapped up in blankets, wearing one of Kara’s shirts. The heater is on and, still, Lena’s covered in at least five blankets and duvets.

 

Kara drops her bag with her suit by the foot of the bed and, carefully, sneaks up to see Lena’s face. Her cheeks ache from smiling so wide, her entire body hurts, actually. She lets her hand fall gently on Lena’s face, following the curves of her cheekbones and puffy cheeks, to her jaw and chin.

 

A soft crinkle between Lena’s eyebrows has appeared and she’s whispering things Kara doesn’t understand. She’s whispering nonsense again, things she won’t remember- or at least things she says she doesn’t remember- when she wakes up.

 

“What are you dreaming about? “ Kara whispers, worried.


	23. Chapter 23

 

“Has she even talked about any of it? “ Winn asks, filling his mouth with soup.

 

“No, “ Kara says with a sigh.

 

“Not at all? “ Alex asks.

 

“It doesn’t seem right to bring it up, “ Kara says, shrugging slightly. “I don’t want her think more about it than she already does. I can tell it’s on her mind- I mean, she’s constantly dreaming about it. Or, well, about something like it. “

 

“What do you mean? “ Alex asks. She puts her hand on Kara’s.

 

“She woke up crying the other night, “ Kara says. She hates that she’s telling them these things, they’re personal things about Lena and she doesn’t want anyone to know her girlfriend’s not okay. Kara feels like she’s failing when Lena’s not okay, _she_ should make her feel okay.

 

“That’s not good, “ Winn says.

 

“Nicely observed, genius, “ Alex mumbles and Winn pushes her slightly with his shoulder against hers.

 

They’re sitting in one of the meeting rooms at the DEO. The sun is burning through the windows, making them all sweat.

 

“She hasn’t left the apartment in days, “ Kara says.

 

“What about her job? “ Winn asks.

 

“I’ve called them and told them she just lost her mother and that she’ll need some time. They understand and have given her time to grieve, but if she doesn’t come back- or at least starts to think about coming back- they, well, they said they don’t know how long they can go on without her. “

 

“I- Kara, I’m sorry that- “

 

“No, Alex. We’ve talked about this a million times. You did what you had to do and- and if you hadn’t done it someone else would’ve, “ Kara says. She takes her sister’s hand and holds it tight.

 

“Talk to Lena about it, “ Winn says after a minute of silence. “Talk to her about everything, Kara. I mean, she lost her mother and her brother got locked up. She needs help and, even though I know you hate to hear this, it’s help that you can’t give her. “

 

 

Music is playing from the speakers in the living room. Lena’s sitting on couch with a book she’s reading for the third time this month. “You’re reading again, “ Kara states. She puts her jacket on the hook by the door and walks slowly towards Lena, who looks up after putting her finger on a sentence in the book.

 

“I am. “ She smiles softly. She sits up a little straighter when Kara leans down to kiss her. “How’s your day been? “ Lena asks after Kara falls to the couch with a sigh.

 

“It’s been okay. Yours? “

 

Lena doesn’t answer. She puts her book on the table in front of the couch and turns to look at Kara. “What’s wrong? “ Lena asks, gently playing the edge of Kara’s socks.

 

“Nothing- nothing, just- “ Kara fiddles with her bracelet for a minute. “We haven’t talked about what happened. “

 

“I know, “ Lena says, waiting for Kara to continue talking.

 

“You haven’t left the apartment for a long time now. It’s been two weeks and I’ve only seen you outside that door once or twice since you came here after- after it happened. “

 

“After my mother died, “ Lena says. Her eyes are locked on the book in front of her, her lips slightly parted.

 

“You didn’t go to the funeral, “ Kara says.

 

“There wasn’t a funeral, Kara, “ Lena lies, her hands folded neatly in her lap.

 

“I saw the invitations and- it was on the news, “ Kara whispers the last bit with her head down.

 

“I haven’t seen the news lately, “ Lena says as if that would change anything. “I’ve- “

 

“You’ve been reading that book and you’ve been sleeping. “ Kara sighs. “I think you need help with this, Lena. There are a lot of things that have happened to you and, right now, you’re not doing anything to deal with them. It’s not healthy and- and I want you to be okay again. “

 

Lena sucks on her bottom lip for a little while, obviously thinking about something. Kara takes her hand and holds it tight, rubbing her thumb gently over the back of it. “The DEO has therapists- “

 

“Kara, “ Lena says, pulling back her hand.

 

“No, Lena, listen to me. There are people who will help you with these things, I mean, what you’ve gone through, seeing your mother get killed, seeing your brother get locked up, being threatened and then- “

 

“Then threatening others, “ Lena says with her head down. She shuts her eyes and wipes away the single tear from her cheek. “I- I threatened them. I was going to- to _kill myself_ , “ She whispers the last bit. “If I’d done it- I would’ve been the reason hundreds of people would’ve died. “

 

Kara shuffles in closer to her, wrapping her arms and legs around her girlfriend’s trembling body. She kisses the side of her head and holds her even tighter, wanting to do everything for her in this moment.

 

“You didn’t do anything wrong, “ Kara whispers, but Lena shakes her head, trying to fight her way out of Kara’s arms.

 

“I- I- I almost- “

 

“But you _didn’t_ , “ Kara says. Lena eventually stops fighting and let’s the tears stream down. She cries into Kara’s shoulder, letting everything, every thought she’s had, go with every sob. Her hands are shaking along with the rest of her body. She tires to speak, she tries to get away because that’s what she’s so used to. But Kara shushes her and runs her fingers through her hair, rubbing her back and kissing her wet cheeks.

 

“I love you, “ Kara whispers.

 

“You shouldn’t, “ Lena says after a minute or two.

 

“But I do and I always will. “


	24. Chapter 24

Her dreams are getting worse, more graphic and longer. She sees the way her mother fell to the floor, the way Lex screamed out for her. She feels the gun in her hand, the end of it on the side of her head. She hears Kara’s voice like the soft tune of something good. Every dream ends the same way, the sound of the trigger being pulled and the ache in her body.

 

 

“You should tell her, “ Winn says. He stops typing on his computer and turns around to see Kara. “She should know that you have your powers back. “

 

“Winn, I don’t even know if I want to use them- I mean- the city’s been fine without me. What if I don’t want to- to use them again? “ Kara asks with a sigh. She drops down in a chair next to Winn.

 

“Then that’s okay, Kara- we’ve talked about this before. If you want to be Supergirl, be Supergirl. But if you don’t want to, then don’t. The city is okay without you. But they need to know what’s going on, I mean- you’ve seen miss Grant. She’s practically loosing her mind over this. Everything she ever talks about is how Supergirl’s on some ridiculous vacation- “

 

“ _See_!? “ Kara exclaims. “People think I’m just away. They’re not even thinking about the possibility that I’m not coming back- they’re _expecting_ me to come back. “

 

“It’s been over a month, “ Winn says with a soft smile on his lips at the sight of Mon-El coming in the room. “We’ll talk about this later, okay? “ He pads Kara on the shoulder before greeting Mon-El with a short hug. He keeps his hands on Mon-El’s as they walk down a hallway.

 

Kara smiles at the sight of them and it feels nice to see how far they’ve gotten. When Mon-El first came to Earth there were so much drama and now, now he’s happy.

 

 

“Kara, “ Lena says.

 

Kara turns around in the kitchen, putting down the knife as she’s cutting out potatoes to make homemade fries. “Yeah? “ She asks.

 

“I’ve- I’ve been thinking about going back to work. “ Lena’s voice is soft, shaking slightly from the power of her words, from the meaning of them.

 

“Oh- “ Kara exclaims. “Yes, yeah, well- if you want to I think you should do it. “ She tries not to sound too exited or happy about it, wanting Lena to feel like she can back out if she doesn’t feel okay about it anyway.

 

“I’ve also been thinking about what you said- you know, about seeing a therapist. “

 

Kara walks to the couch, sitting down on the coffee table in front of Lena. She takes her hand and kisses them both slowly. “If you feel like you’re ready, “ Kara says. “I think you should. “

 

“I also want to see Lex, “ Lena says. Her head is down again, not daring to face Kara.

 

“Really? “ Kara asks, biting her top lip slightly. “Are you sure? “

 

“I’m sure. I mean- he’s my brother- even though he did all of those things. He lost his mother, his _real_ mother. I saw the look in his eyes, the way he screamed when Alex- “ Lena shakes her head. “I think he needs help, too. And if I can help him in some way- I- I want to do that. “

 

“I’m so proud of you for just saying all of that, “ Kara says, beaming down at her girlfriend.

 

“I need your help, “ Lena says. “I’ve always needed your help and you’ve always given it to me, Kara. Thank you, “ She whispers, looking up between strays of dark hair. Kara tugs them behind Lena’s ears with both hands at the same time, ending up cupping her face. She pulls Lena closer to her and kisses her deeply.

 

“You’re being very honest with me, “ Kara says. “So I feel like I need to be honest with you, too. “

 

Lena pulls back a little, startled by the sudden surprise of Kara’s words. “What is it? “ She asks, hands slightly shaking. She’s expecting the worst, Kara hates that.

 

“I got my powers back, “ She says. “ _All_ of them. I- I’m bulletproof again. “ Kara can’t help but to smile a little at her words. “But I don’t know if I can keep on being Supergirl. Even though it’s safer now, I- I just don’t know if it’s right for me anymore. “

 

She takes a break to look at Lena, her face is expressionless, except for her wide open eyes. “I want to help and save people, I’ve always wanted that. But I think I can do that in other ways. The city has shown me that it does not need me at this moment. “

 

“Maybe it’ll need me in the future, but right now I need other things more than I need to be Supergirl. I’ve been thinking about my career a lot. I’ve talked to miss Grant about it- and- and she said that she’d let me go if that’s what I want. “

 

“I want to be a reporter, a journalist of some sort. I want to get people’s stories out there and I want to help them in other ways than fighting. I will need to make a public speech about this, about what I’ll do, but that’ll come later. First, I want to know what you’re feeling about this. “

 

She stops talking and breathes deeply. Kara looks at Lena and sees that her face has turned into a grinning mess. “Do what makes you feel good. “

 

 

And that’s what Kara’s been doing. She’s started at her new job, getting yelled at by Snapper is a lot less fun than getting yelled at by miss Grant. James is helping her with different things in the office, wanting to make everything as easy for her in the beginning as possible.

 

Winn’s quit his job at CatCo and started working fulltime at the DEO. Alex and Maggie are engaged – Kara’s been planning their wedding for months, even before Maggie popped the question.

 

Lena’s healing. She’s working a few days a week, seeing a therapist twice a week. She’s been visiting her brother a couple of times, talking to him about what they’re both going through. She’s getting better and that means Kara’s also getting better. They’re both going through everything together, pulling the other along when one hits a rough patch.

 

Now Kara’s sitting in front of a camera at CatCo, miss Grant standing on the other side of it with a coffee in her hand and Kara swears she sees tears starting to form in her eyes. Kara tugs at her Supergirl suit and exhales deeply.

 

“I am Supergirl, “ She begins. “I’ve been Supergirl for almost two years. It has made me so happy to help people- to help you. I’ve learned so much from doing this. But I’ve also reached a point in my life where this no longer makes me feel the joy and excitement it did in the beginning. “

 

“I have not been helping you, saving you, in the past couple of months. I’ve wanted to see if you’ve needed me and, yes, at times I’ve wanted to help, I’ve wanted to fight with you and I’ve wanted to work with you to solve problems. “

 

“But I no longer feel like you need me as Supergirl. I no longer feel like you need me as some ‘superhero’ in a cape, flying around and doing things _you_ could be doing. What I’m saying is- is that I no longer will be Supergirl. “

 

“This does not mean I won’t be out there with you. I will live my life as I did before I was Supergirl, like I’ve _been doing,_ as I’ve been Supergirl. Remember that there are others like me out there and I believe that they will do some great things on this planet. Whether or not that means putting on a suit and fighting evil with their powers, or just simply living their life with people that make them happy. “

 

“I will never leave you. I will never just stop. And neither should you. I may have helped you fight the bad guys, but you have helped me not be a bad guy. There have been times, and you’ve seen them, where I’ve been on the border of ‘bad’. And in those times my powers did not help me, _you did_. “

 

“So I ask one thing of you. I ask that you will be kind in this world. Be kind to the people in your life and be kind to the people you’ll only see once. Be kind and you will not need me. Be kind and you will only need each other. “

 

A man turns off the camera with a smile. Kara exhales heavily and gets up from miss Grant’s chair. “Well done, “ Cat says and smiles. Little specks of smeared mascara are under her eyes, but Kara doesn’t say anything about it.

 

“Thank you- for everything, miss Grant. You helped me do all of these things and I owe you so much, “ Kara says.

 

“You’re doing the right thing, _Kara_. “ Miss Grant winks as she leaves the room.

 

“It’s over? “ Winn asks, taking Kara’s arm and leading her out of miss Grant’s office.

 

“No, “ Kara says, looking at him. “It’s just a new beginning. “

 

“You guys are _such_ a cliché! “ James laughs from behind them. He puts his arms around each their shoulder and they walk out together, laughing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> that's it wuhu. 
> 
> i just want to thank you all for commenting, reading, giving it kudos and all of that! it really means and lot and helps me so much to keep me writing. 
> 
> also, this is my most read story ever and that's kinda crazy! 
> 
> already now i'm working on something new (also supercorp) so watch out for that. 
> 
> if you feel like checking out my tumblr it's at @notreallystraight. I'd love for you to just message me, it would be really cooooool.
> 
> anyway, stay tuned for more fluff and angst, they're my faves.


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